Soulful living – Besoulful

Soul Nudges #26 make one good decision

Andre — Tue, 06 Feb 2024 14:29:53 +0000

In a recent coaching conversation with a leader I was again reminded about the power of simplicity as well as the compounding effect of sustaining a simple habit over time. We talked about the importance of exercise and the need to get started in January (as we normally do in January). And all of us know it is easy to make a small decision and start in January, but busy-ness as usual makes it very difficult to keep going. Like most of us he made a commitment for the year, but listen to this – he decided to do 1 minute of exercise every day for 366 days this year – yes, you’ve heard correctly, one minute. For him this equals to 30 squads and 10 push ups. As simple as that – it is doable right? And imagine you do that every day and you keep going for a whole year – simple, but powerful. The lesson for me? Make a small doable decision and sustain it.

James Clear indicates in his book “Atomic Habits” the compounding effect of a 1% increase every day.

“Improving by 1% isn’t particularly notable, sometimes it isn’t even noticeable, but it can be far more meaningful – especially in the long run.”

“If you can get 1% better each day for one year, you’ll end up 37 times better by the time you’re done.”

Let us leave the new year’s resolutions and rather make one small choice for the rest of the year. It is better to do something small for longer period, than to do something big short term right?

You can choose something within the following themes to make it easier:

– Your well-being: to practically think about thing like sleep, exercise, diet, mindfulness practice?
– Your work: if you specifically want to make a small decision about work?
– Your core relationships: if you want focus on a specific person in your life and make a small decision there?

Choose one and make it simple. Do it either daily or weekly.

Ask yourself one good question every week or do a small practice every day? And connect this question or practice to an area for the whole year. Then think about the structure that will support this – set a reminder on your phone, specific time, place of the day?

Look out for Cal Newport’s book, Slow Productivity which will be released beginning of
March – it looks like a fascinating and practical read.

Until next month!
Andre

Ps: I’m commencing this monthly refection after a 2 year break – after releasing my book the
writing dried up a bit, but let’s get the conversation on soulfulness going again!

Make sure to stay updated by following my Instagram, Facebook and connect on LinkedIn .

Soul Nudges # 24 Soul Rhythms

Andre — Sat, 19 Mar 2022 14:42:43 +0000

Towards the end of last year my own experience was that life is very reactive. It felt like I was just firefighting and all my pro-active energy was gone. I even postponed to write these reflections – yes I apologise, the last reflection that I’ve shared was in April 2021!

A lot of people that I dealt with then really needed time to disconnect and disengage from the “busyness as usual” and just recharge. Funny story – I bumped into somebody on December 9th 2021 and asked him :”How are you” – his reply: “Man, it feels like it is the 38th of December!?”. This summarizes the way a lot of people felt towards the end of 2021.

So how did this year start for you? Many people really go for everything now that we experience more “normality” – we are trying so hard to catch up on what we have missed the last two years that we forget the slowness of the pandemic. And this is great, seize the day, use the time that you have and make the most of it.

But…

…it will be really important to remember your basic rhythms. What helps you to stay anchored, focused, energised and centered?

Think about this for a moment about one basic rhythm that helps you to anchor, to catch your breath – it can be as simple as taking a 5 minute walk or just to stand somewhere and focus on something beautiful for 2 minutes.

What would that look like for you?

Choose one simple soulful rhythm for this year…one simple action that will keep you anchored. Keep it really simple!

Then make notes or an appointment with yourself to start with this as a new rhythm. Tell somebody about it, it will make you more accountable.

Let us also remember what is going on in the Ukraine at the moment and use our rhythms to also pray for peace. It is a real privilege to even have the freedom to think about new rhythms.

You are welcome to also listen to this podcast discussion on rhythms on my channel – follow this link and let me know if you have an interesting story on rhythms.

Go well

Soul Nudges #23 Enough

Andre — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 12:41:16 +0000

“…nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little” – Epicurus

I often have the conversation with my children about the most important question in life.

“what is enough?”

If we could live with the wisdom to determine what is enough, and if the world were organised by the principle that everyone should have enough, it could be a totally different reality, couldn’t it?

Enough light, enough oxygen, enough beauty, enough energy, enough meaning.

But then we worry that when everybody has enough that we will stop trying.

Ryan Holiday, in his book “stillness is the key” states:

‘you will never feel okay by way of external accomplishments. Enough comes from the inside. It comes from stepping off the train. From seeing what you already have, what you’ve always had.’

The worry is that the experience of enough will make us complacent to not challenge ourselves or grow or even suffer – but it often is the opposite. You can be healthy, content and still be successful. Just see what you already have – and obviously there is the real experience of not having enough – we do need to acknowledge that!

Maybe ask your team to name one experience of enough today or maybe tell them where in the business there is enough and celebrate that.

We definitely have ample reminders every day where there isn’t enough, right?

Therefore take a moment today and reflect on the following questions:

Where do you experience enough in your relationship?
Where do you experience enough in your surroundings today?
How can you live with an attitude to find the enough of everyday?

So how can you respond to this?

Make one decision today – what would one step look like to influence the experience of “enough” around you? One small practical step…

Enough will give us more clarity, insight, truth and presence.

May you have enough today!

Soul Nudges #20 Lockdown Ego

Andre — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 17:44:08 +0000

A good day for the ego is a bad day for the soul.

– Robin Sharma –

What was your work experience like the past few months?

Some people tell me that they felt guilty for not going to work while receiving a salary, others experienced a lot of pressure due to a salary cut while not at work, and a lot of people stopped receiving any income. Some lucky ones worked from home. Whatever the circumstances, work-life looked and felt so different and we couldn’t even prepare for it. Initially, the conversations were about the space at home, saving time and money on travel, more time with the family and the amazing opportunities of online work. But a few months later people started complaining about not having boundaries, having to be online all the time, missing their colleagues, being home but not really being present and struggling with basic habits.

One of the most fascinating discoveries I’ve made was around people’s ego-spaces. James Hollis calls it the social self. They either felt free from people-distractions to focus on work or experienced a real loss in terms of the work role, status and place in the world and some felt less anxious for being able to work from a truer self.

Because with lockdown came the loss of ego space – you couldn’t walk into the office anymore thinking about what you looked like or share any personal space while presenting your slides or feel important because you have the corner office – on the online platforms you can just be yourself and then focus to get the job done. Some were freed from it and some really missed it.

It made me wonder about the following question: “Who are you when you do not go to the office – who are you if you only have your home and online space?”

Maybe this is an opportunity to be more soulful? Of course, there are a lot of downsides as well – we need to be our social selves as well to feel a connection, read facial expressions and body language.

I am still reflecting on this, but would love to hear from you about your experience on how the loss of ego-space made you more soulful to be yourself, to have more time, to just focus on the simple task on your desk (or bed)? This without wasting your energy to manage other expectations while the ego compares and compete – or maybe you’ve experienced a great loss because of all of this? Or maybe you can arrange a discussion in your team or family about these experiences?

Join me for 2 opportunities at the end of this year to just stand back for a day – reflect on this crazy year in terms of business or life, be quiet, re-align or just be.

I am doing a day retreat within the framework of contemplative spirituality for individuals at the beautiful Stillebos Retreat Farm. I am also inviting executive leaders to the annual Christmas in November Leaders retreat at San Gabriel historical farm.

Book now! Or contact me for more info.

Go well

Soul Nudges #18 Unity

Andre — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 05:19:17 +0000

“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.” – Kitty O’ Meara

At the beginning of 2020, I experienced the world as was more divided than ever. Countries at war, Trump, Brexit, people struggling to work together, you name it – isn’t it ironic that now a few months later the world is busy uniting as one to fight Covid-19. We have no choice – suddenly we agree on one thing and the only way to get through this is to stand together and work together. It levels the playing field. Suddenly background, wealth, ethnicity, culture, ideology doesn’t make any difference, no exceptions – we are all in this together whether we want it or not.

This is an opportunity for unity – let’s unite with Kitty O’Meara and pray for healing on all levels – and find new ways of being. I am already witnessing immense care and the goodness of people at work and play. This is a testing time globally it challenges us towards thinking and being aware of each other in different ways. Suddenly space and touch mean different things than a few weeks ago. Somebody shared with me yesterday how paradigms can quickly shift and gave the following example: “be a good neighbour – stay at home!”

Maybe it is a time to turn in, read books, listen, pray, meditate and rest. In the Christian tradition, it is also the season of Lent where we are aware of time in the wilderness – and isn’t this a wilderness experience in some sort of way for most of us?

May you be safe wherever you are!

Soul Nudges #17 Ring the bell

Andre — Mon, 27 Jan 2020 05:10:47 +0000

Thich Nhat Hanh tells a beautiful story in his book “Silence” about the Coconut Monk. This monk did many things to teach peace. In Vietnam, at the time of the war, he once collected bullet and bomb fragments from an area in the Mekong Delta. He then did an extraordinary thing – he took the bullet and bomb fragments and forged them into a big bell – he called it the bell of mindfulness. He then hung this bell in his practice centre in Mekong Delta and wrote the following poem:

Dear bullets, dear bombs, I have helped you come together in order to practice. In your former life, you have killed and destroyed. But in this life, you are calling out to people to wake up, to wake up to humanity, to love, to understanding.
This bell’s very existence was a symbol of how transformation is possible and he rang it every morning and every night to invite soldiers into times of reflection.

At the beginning of this year, I really hope this story helps you to believe that you can make small changes in the way you live and work. That even difficult things and brokenness can be used as a reminder. And may the metaphor of the bell remind you to make small decisions about the way that you will (literally or metaphorically) ring a bell in your own life to remind you of the small changes and habits that you want to stick to this year. To wake up to humanity and love. Do keep it simple!

And let’s remember the words of Leonard Cohen in his song “Anthem”:

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget the perfect offering

There’s a crack in everything

But that’s where the light gets in

Your response:

Take 5 minutes to think reflectively about the following.

How can you create something that can be like a bell that rings in your life this year – something that reminds you to stop, to love and to be human? Think about something simple that you can use as a reminder, not to make you feel guilty, but to help you, your team or your family to believe that small changes and transformation is possible in 2020. It can be a reminder on your phone, a photo or a picture against a wall, a tree that you pass every morning or maybe a bell at your office? Keep it simple and specific though…

My bell was a drop of water…watch the video of my story here.

Events for 2020:

I am again conducting a few retreats and leadership retreats this year – more information can be found here.

And I still spend time with individuals and teams on request for reflective walks, experiential team development processes and team retreats – more information here.

I regularly spend time with teams in a labyrinth – ask me about this.

Also, keep letting me know if you have any soulful stories to share – it is wonderful to hear about the small moments that provide meaning and purpose.

Ring the bell!

André

Soul Nudges #16 Rest Well

Andre — Tue, 17 Dec 2019 07:27:03 +0000

Soul Nudges 16 // Rest well

As we come to the end of another year let us take a few minutes and reflect on the joys and the challenges of this year. If you are lucky enough to have a proper break don’t wait for the holidays to do this reflection, do it this week! If you do not have a proper break, remember to create small spaces for rest.

I am so grateful for the journey over the last year. My time with people in different walks of life brings so many awakenings and waterdrop-moments. It is such a privilege to be a witness of people’s journeys – be it organisational or personal. And the real challenge at the end of the year is to find ways to disengage from all the busy-ness.

I want to acknowledge the privilege of this journey by sharing a few hopeful stories of the past year and motivate you to rest well.

In a recent leadership retreat “Christmas in November”, I was again energised by the willingness of a group of leaders who didn’t know each other to share and be vulnerable. We again learned that when we intentionally create space the rest happens anyway.

And in a labyrinth walk with a team of soulful leaders, we shared our 6-word memoirs afterwards – this is where we summarize the leadership journey in 6 words in a creative way as a commitment. One person wrote the following 6 words:

From egoistic control towards soulful simplicity…

Isn’t this a challenge for each of us in any walk of life? To let go of the control and return towards God-given simplicity?

I was also very encouraged by a quarterly team session called Soulful Fridays where the organisation decided to elect 3 ambassadors to be the gatekeepers for their soulful organisation – they summoned them to be the organisation’s conscience and audit their ability to be a soulful organisation by looking at their daily practices.

Encouraging indeed! So let us celebrate our own soulful stories of 2019 and ask ourselves how we can respond to this in a simple practical way and pass it on. And on the way to the turn of another year do remember to rest well.

In his book ‘The 5 am Club’, Robin Sharma says:

Remember that growth happens in the resting phase, not in the performing phase.

You grow while you are sleeping not when you burn the candle on both sides. You grow when you turn in and reflect not when you are going at full speed!

So do make sure that you make time to rest and turn in because that will set up your growth for 2020.

I am excited about next year and will share events, dates and ideas early in the new year. I am quite excited by the possibility to host another soulful conference in September 2020 but more about this in the new year.

Rest well.

Soul Nudges #15 Soulful Video

Andre — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 07:02:25 +0000

Soul Nudges 15 // Soulful video

I am very happy to share a short (2.5 minutes) video today. I collaborated with Blindspot films to tell the story of the waterdrop. Please share it wherever applicable.