During the past few weeks I spent 4 days on a farm in Namibia with no cell phone or internet connection. No phone, no internet, no emails, no WhatsApp. I couldn’t reach out for my phone quickly to scroll the latest news feed, couldn’t post anything on any platform. I was totally disconnected. All I could do was to witness the sunset and sunrise, look up at the stars at night, sit at the fire and share experiences with the people around me…in person…not on zoom! What a relief, to not anxiously await a message, or an alert of something I need to do, or attend to. Just to be there…and open to what is emerging from the moment.

I had to disconnect to be able to connect to myself and to God. My kids had to look for stuff to do in nature, learn to just sit and chat, pick up wood for the fire or play board games.

And we connected.

One night in Namibia I walked away from the house to just watch the stars – my 10 year old boy walked with me and we witnessed a sky full of stars, an unbelievable sight. “Daddy why are there so many stars tonight?”, he suddenly asked me. I told him that the stars are always there we just don’t see it because of all the (artificial) light. Because sometimes we need the darkness to witness the light, don’t we? We disconnected from the artificial light that night to connect to the stars and the light.

Sometimes we have to disconnect before we can connect. Years ago Nokia made an advert with the same title – you are welcome to watch this short video as it is a powerful depiction of this notion.

Last week I spoke to a business leader while on his 3-month sabbatical. We started planning his sabbatical last year, focusing specifically on how to be deliberate in disconnecting from his office. We talked about the value of sometimes looking at your business from a distance, to look from the outside and taking an intentional step to plug out before you plug in again.

At the end of our conversation he said:

“While disconnecting I get a renewed perspective and then I become small…and my problems even smaller – I remind myself just to breathe.”

We find ourselves in the middle of this year and it might be healthy to think of where you need to disconnect to be able to connect to God, yourself and others again.

Make one small decision about this – take one small step.

To deliberately disconnect for short periods – you don’t have to be out on a farm, or be disconnected for days to experience this – just take a short walk and leave your phone at home or at the office, and see what emerges for you.

Go and deliberately disconnect, so you can soulfully connect again.

Go well.

A lot of people that I dealt with then really needed time to disconnect and disengage from the “busyness as usual” and just recharge. Funny story – I bumped into somebody on December 9th 2021 and asked him :”How are you” – his reply: “Man, it feels like it is the 38th of December!?”. This summarizes the way a lot of people felt towards the end of 2021.

So how did this year start for you? Many people really go for everything now that we experience more “normality” – we are trying so hard to catch up on what we have missed the last two years that we forget the slowness of the pandemic. And this is great, seize the day, use the time that you have and make the most of it.

But…

…it will be really important to remember your basic rhythms. What helps you to stay anchored, focused, energised and centered?

Think about this for a moment about one basic rhythm that helps you to anchor, to catch your breath – it can be as simple as taking a 5 minute walk or just to stand somewhere and focus on something beautiful for 2 minutes.

What would that look like for you?

Choose one simple soulful rhythm for this year…one simple action that will keep you anchored. Keep it really simple!

Then make notes or an appointment with yourself to start with this as a new rhythm. Tell somebody about it, it will make you more accountable.

Let us also remember what is going on in the Ukraine at the moment and use our rhythms to also pray for peace. It is a real privilege to even have the freedom to think about new rhythms.

You are welcome to also listen to this podcast discussion on rhythms on my channel – follow this link and let me know if you have an interesting story on rhythms.

Go well

I often have the conversation with my children about the most important question in life.

“what is enough?”

If we could live with the wisdom to determine what is enough, and if the world were organised by the principle that everyone should have enough, it could be a totally different reality, couldn’t it?

Enough light, enough oxygen, enough beauty, enough energy, enough meaning.

But then we worry that when everybody has enough that we will stop trying.

Ryan Holiday, in his book “stillness is the key” states:

‘you will never feel okay by way of external accomplishments. Enough comes from the inside. It comes from stepping off the train. From seeing what you already have, what you’ve always had.’

The worry is that the experience of enough will make us complacent to not challenge ourselves or grow or even suffer – but it often is the opposite. You can be healthy, content and still be successful. Just see what you already have – and obviously there is the real experience of not having enough – we do need to acknowledge that!

Maybe ask your team to name one experience of enough today or maybe tell them where in the business there is enough and celebrate that.

We definitely have ample reminders every day where there isn’t enough, right?

Therefore take a moment today and reflect on the following questions:

• Where do you experience enough in your relationship?
• Where do you experience enough in your surroundings today?
• How can you live with an attitude to find the enough of everyday?

So how can you respond to this?

Make one decision today – what would one step look like to influence the experience of “enough” around you? One small practical step…

Enough will give us more clarity, insight, truth and presence.

May you have enough today!

]]> https://besoulful.co.za/soul-nudges-lockdown-ego/ Fri, 18 Sep 2020 17:44:08 +0000 https://besoulful.co.za/?p=1355 A good day for the ego is a bad day for the soul.

– Robin Sharma –

What was your work experience like the past few months?

Some people tell me that they felt guilty for not going to work while receiving a salary, others experienced a lot of pressure due to a salary cut while not at work, and a lot of people stopped receiving any income. Some lucky ones worked from home. Whatever the circumstances, work-life looked and felt so different and we couldn’t even prepare for it. Initially, the conversations were about the space at home, saving time and money on travel, more time with the family and the amazing opportunities of online work. But a few months later people started complaining about not having boundaries, having to be online all the time, missing their colleagues, being home but not really being present and struggling with basic habits.

One of the most fascinating discoveries I’ve made was around people’s ego-spaces. James Hollis calls it the social self. They either felt free from people-distractions to focus on work or experienced a real loss in terms of the work role, status and place in the world and some felt less anxious for being able to work from a truer self.

Because with lockdown came the loss of ego space – you couldn’t walk into the office anymore thinking about what you looked like or share any personal space while presenting your slides or feel important because you have the corner office – on the online platforms you can just be yourself and then focus to get the job done. Some were freed from it and some really missed it.

It made me wonder about the following question: “Who are you when you do not go to the office – who are you if you only have your home and online space?”

Maybe this is an opportunity to be more soulful? Of course, there are a lot of downsides as well – we need to be our social selves as well to feel a connection, read facial expressions and body language.

I am still reflecting on this, but would love to hear from you about your experience on how the loss of ego-space made you more soulful to be yourself, to have more time, to just focus on the simple task on your desk (or bed)? This without wasting your energy to manage other expectations while the ego compares and compete – or maybe you’ve experienced a great loss because of all of this? Or maybe you can arrange a discussion in your team or family about these experiences?

Join me for 2 opportunities at the end of this year to just stand back for a day – reflect on this crazy year in terms of business or life, be quiet, re-align or just be.

I am doing a day retreat within the framework of contemplative spirituality for individuals at the beautiful Stillebos Retreat Farm. I am also inviting executive leaders to the annual Christmas in November Leaders retreat at San Gabriel historical farm.

Book now! Or contact me for more info.

Go well