Inbox dilemma

Are you an inbox zero person, or do you have 2143 emails in your inbox?  Do you delete read emails or keep them just in case?

How we manage our inboxes might be telling of our personalities and how we manage life.

Over the last few months, I started receiving email alerts from my web domain hosting service advising me that I urgently needed to delete some emails as my inbox was close to its maximum capacity. The message:

[URGENT ACTION REQUIRED] Disk Usage Notification.

However, the more I tried to delete messages, the more I received this alert.  It felt like I was deleting emails, but my actions were not making any difference.  Isn’t this how life often feels?  You think you’re decluttering, but you’re only scratching the surface.  And the more you try, the more you fail.

One day, after months of receiving these messages, I sat down and went through each unread email and large attachment. I spent time getting to the root of my storage issue and cleaned out my inbox.  What a relief! Not only for having inbox space, but also for not receiving urgent commands anymore. Yet, what surprised me most was my emotional reaction to this spring clean. You may wonder why something so mundane would make me think about my own habits and of performing a good cleanup regularly – I mean, I might not be an inbox zero person. Still, a regular cleanup could make a huge difference, not only to my inbox but also to other areas of life. Just to create space, all I have to do is to regularly delete, declutter, clean up, simplify and cleanse.

Declutter stories

Having experienced the benefits of a good declutter, I became more aware of how this theme popped up in people’s lives, their relationships, their leadership roles, and their businesses.

• In a recent coaching discussion, I was reminded of the concept of decluttering when my client spoke about considering whether they should move out of their original family home after many years. We talked about the necessity of scaling down and about how painful taking such a step could be.
• A colleague who closed her practice for 18 months and moved abroad on her own told me that, on her return, she experienced a more spacious and decluttered environment. 
• Over the last two weeks, I was involved in two leaders’ coaching discussions during which we reflected on how our sense of responsibility and helping others filled our plates (read inboxes) to the brim and how this was causing us to feel oversubscribed, overwhelmed, not knowing where to start or when to stop, as if we were running to stand still. One client mentioned, “I needed to hand work back to other people deliberately” and “I had to renegotiate what pulling my weight means”. The other client asked: “Where do I deliberately step away from specific roles and give work back to my team?” 

Let’s simplify

At a recent workshop with a software development firm, I asked the participants if they did anything to prevent their workspace from becoming so cluttered that it stole their focus.  I challenged the participants to declutter their digital and physical spaces at the office and at home, simply because the spaces that people work in speak to their senses.

Our emotional space is often oversubscribed as well.  If we battle with something emotionally, it might perpetuate that feeling of not knowing where to start or of not getting anywhere. I often advise people to identify their issues and to take a pebble and leave it somewhere as if they were “letting go” of their problems.  To throw their pebble in a pond or to place it somewhere – although this doesn’t always take away the burden, this action might be a small step towards “putting it down”, creating space or letting it go.

In his book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown writes about doing less but doing it better.  He refers to important historical figures who probably subscribed to the idea of “less but better”, such as the Dalai Lama, Steve Jobs, Leo Tolstoy, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffett, Mother Theresa and Henry David Thoreau.

Thoreau said:

I do believe in simplicity.  It is astonishing as well as sad, how many trivial affairs even the wisest thinks he must attend to in a day; so, simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real.

… so, simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real …

Whether you apply this theme physically or spiritually, you must try to live lighter. 

For an excellent and practical guide to declutter your digital space, look at Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• Our physical and emotional spaces speak to our senses – if cluttered, they steal our energy.
• I’ll do well to regularly cleanup and declutter.
• I need to reflect on my cluttered emotional space.
• If I carry too much, it will rob me of my day-to-day meaningful moments.
• I could renegotiate my responsibility, as this is a form of decluttering.

REFLECT

Where does my “inbox dilemma” resonate with you today?  Is there an area or aspect in your life for which you ‘receive’ an urgent message about your ‘storage’? Is this the area where you try to delete and cleanse but only manage to scratch the surface? Is it your sense of space? Is it spiritually? Or maybe your way of work?

RESPOND

Be deliberate: Identify an emotional area or physical space that you can declutter. Throw away something.  Give something that you rarely use to somebody who needs it, forgive someone, or delete a few emails.

Try this:

Take a pebble, think about how this is a symbol of something that you need or want to let go of. Now place that pebble somewhere or throw it into a pond, simulating “letting it go”.  

Get cleaning!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The Stars

Last weekend was a long weekend in South Africa.  I had the privilege to nip away to the Ladismith district in the Klein Karoo with my wife for a weekend in a small, remote cottage on a farm.  After dinner on Friday night, we were standing outside at the fire and found ourselves in complete silence, looking up at the stars for about 10 minutes.  With no artificial light and only the moon to light up the fields, the stars were beautiful – leaving us in silent awe of the wonder of nature. Being part of nature made us realise (again) that we are part of something much grander and bigger. It also accentuated our knowing that God was intimately part of that moment. Those silent moments lingered for the whole weekend.

Even though I don’t do it often enough, it is quite amazing to stop, be quiet and look up at the stars every now and then.  Of course, it helps if there are no artificial lights and sounds, as staring into the night sky makes you aware of your small and insignificant world, which often feels so big and heavy.  It is comforting and humbling to be aware of something bigger. There is a galaxy out there, big and vast – and acknowledging its awe and wonder could be extremely helpful.

Looking up

I have given that moment of looking up a lot of thought, as it represents an important message and an important reminder.  I have realised that we are sometimes so focused on the challenges in front of us, being pulled into reality, that we forget that there is Something and Someone much bigger. In a world of bickering and infighting, wars and conflicts, and droughts and floods, we often overlook that there is a world much bigger than ours.  Looking up into the big skies more often will do us well.

Looking up is a metaphor on so many levels.  Yes, you can look up at the sky at night, or at the clouds during the day, but metaphorically, it is also important in life to “look up” more often and see beyond the challenges in front of you and to find perspective on whatever obstacles you must face. Look up and live in dependence on God, because looking up means acknowledging your dependence and believing that there is Someone watching over you. It means believing that you are not alone.

This is also true for business challenges; those times when we are unable to see the big picture because of immediate obstacles. That is when it’s important to look up from your screen, out of the window, or quickly see your colleagues.  It could also work if you could remind yourself why you do what you do!

Looking up is a metaphor on so many levels and so important.

Artemis II

When I looked at the moon that night, I thought about the experiences of those aboard the Artemis II.  The historic NASA-led spaceflight mission, the first crewed flyby around the moon in April 2026. I thought about their perspectives looking down. One of the crew members, Christina Koch, posted an emotional message on Instagram about how looking down gave her perspective about the beauty of the simple things in life.

“This moment,” Koch wrote, “people often ask if I was scared. But I was aware of the risks. When I left my home for the last time on March 27, I looked around and thought about how much I loved my humble little life. Unexpectedly, a part of me started to miss it terribly for the small chance in the future that could come to be. I know a morning cup of coffee on the porch with your best friend is a simple and universally small thing. But it is also everything,” she concluded.

Looking up might give us perspective, just as looking down gave Christina perspective.  We’ll do well to sometimes look up from our conflicts, our challenges, our stressors and our strains. And while I am very aware of all the disharmony and conflict in the world, Christina’s looking down has helped me to look at earth through a lens of unity and camaraderie. It gave me hope.

She also shared another reflection on her welcome back speech, which further emphasised her experience. You can watch it HERE.

May looking up be a metaphor for you for the rest of the year. Look up from your screen, look up and see your loved ones, look up and see the clouds, the stars, and the moon! Look up and be aware that there is Someone bigger.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• I’ll do well to look up more often.
• I need to look up and see the people around me.
• I need to stop and look up more often to get perspective on the here and now.
• Looking up is a metaphor to look beyond our obstacles and see the big picture.
• All the artificial light and noise sometimes make me forget the Divine.

REFLECT

What does “looking up” mean to you today?
When was the last time you “looked up” practically and metaphorically? 
Which are the things bogging you down causing you to get stuck in the here and now?

What do you need to look up from at this moment? Maybe there is something that is just “too big” to look away from? Maybe a core emotion, or something that you repeat when talking too yourself.  Or maybe there is just too much pressure and noise to recognise anything else.  Think about these questions for a few minutes …

RESPOND

Be deliberate to look up from the here and now – decide on one small action.  Whether it is a worry, a business challenge, or just a lack of space and time that is locking you in.  In your relationship maybe just look up and see your partner again? Look up!

Try this:

Switch off all the artificial lights you can, then go out at night and look up at the stars for 10 minutes … just stand there … this might represent a small step of “looking up” …

Ironically our little remote cottage last weekend in the Klein Karoo is named The Eye.  I don’t think this is a coincidence!

May you see the stars!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The need to be seen

Recently, at the end of a discussion session with a young couple in my practice, I asked each of them to share one simple thing their partner could do that would help them steer their relationship in a different direction. “What is one simple thing your partner can do that will help you just a little?” The man answered: “I just want her to see me”. This answer not only touched me; it reminded me of our most basic need, the need to be affirmed – to be seen, heard and acknowledged. I often hear this in my work with individuals, couples and organisations. I also experience it at home.

We are bombarded by negative feedback and distractions, even in our relationships and friendships, where we just want to be acknowledged. However, we also easily give negative feedback or highlight what is wrong, but rarely do we focus on what we appreciate and what is right. We seem to find it difficult to celebrate the rights of the world and not only focus on the wrongs.   

I experience this tendency in my partnership with my wife. Ordinarily, while managing life, parenting and a house together, we may have ten interactions a day, with eight of those being about positive things and only two about negative matters. Yet, what do we do? We will often highlight the negatives first; what the other one did not do, or did not say, instead of focusing on what was going well; what we could affirm! It’s the same with kids. To see and acknowledge what they do right is crucial! This is just as important in organisational teams and leadership. Simon Sinek mentions that one of the most important aspects of leadership is to make people feel that they are heard. This is my experience as well.

A culture of affirmation …

I have found that many organisations need to build a culture of affirmation. Regularly appreciating each other’s contributions and being deliberate in thanking somebody when they did well go a long way.  When we build a culture where we frequently affirm each person’s unique contribution and really see them, it becomes much easier to manage our differences and critical feedback constructively.  Performance feedback often turns out to be about what somebody did wrong or can do better, and that no news means good news; when you do well, you won’t hear from us, but when you make a mistake, we’ll point it out. This approach automatically makes somebody more defensive and less open to receiving critical feedback. (Disclaimer 1: I might be overly dramatic about this, but you get my point, right?)

In Frederic Laloux’s research, he emphasises the move from fear and scarcity to joy and abundance while acknowledging that people come to work as their whole selves. I find that implementing such a culture of affirmation also fosters wholeness and abundance in the workplace.

I firmly believe that if we were more deliberate in building a culture of affirmation, we would find that people (professionally and personally) will develop a better ability to manage critical feedback, leading to healthier employees, friends and families. When I feel good about my contribution, I have more capacity to manage pressure and to rectify mistakes proactively. This is true in any relationship!

(Disclaimer 2: It is not my intention that people in organisations must spend their time on fake compliments and touchy-feely feedback. This is about finding basic human ways of sending an affirmative message: “I see you”.)

 When I feel good about my contribution, I have more capacity to manage pressure and
to rectify my mistakes pro–actively.   

See yourself!

This challenge starts with the way we speak to ourselves. In my coaching practice, I’ve learned that the person you are in conversation with the most is yourself, right? With most of us, there are many valid past and present reasons for criticising ourselves. Reminding ourselves of the things we did not do, did wrong, or where we just did not fit into the dominant group? What if we started seeing ourselves with grace, could acknowledge what we did right, and could recognise our good intentions? What if we could see that we’re okay? It is so easy to only focus on the negatives – a world of war, of violence and rising petrol prices. Why not rather see something beautiful or meaningful around us? Last night I saw a beautiful moon rising – it is there, I just had to acknowledge and see it.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• We have the need to be seen and acknowledged in most of our relationships.  
• When we foster a culture of affirmation, it is easier to receive critical feedback.
• We should try to look at ourselves with affirmation and appreciation, the way that God sees us!
• We can do better to celebrate what is right with this world.
• Couples can always start by acknowledging and affirming each other as a first step.

REFLECT

When was the last time you felt seen? Think about an example where you experienced that your contribution was acknowledged. Pause with this for a moment and recognise the impact this had in your life …

RESPOND

Find a moment to acknowledge somebody and send them a message that you see them, whether that is in your team, your relationship, or in your role as a parent or leader. Affirm somebody authentically. Or just celebrate something around you that is right with this world.

Try this:

Find something that you can affirm about yourself or where you may need to look at yourself through God’s loving grace.

Go and affirm!!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership Process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

What is truth?

How do you know if what you think is the truth is really true? For example, if you see or hear something, how do you know that it’s the truth? With so much information on offer, this is a real challenge – to know if something is true or not? Do you trust your gut? Do you go with your inner experience? Do you rely on your wisdom?

Based on the World Economic Forum’s (WEF) recent Global Risks Report, misinformation and disinformation would, over the next two years, be the number one most severe short-term risk which could undermine trust and support instability. According to their  Global Risk Report, 2025, this risk is intensified by the rapid adoption of artificial intelligence (AI) to create “synthetic content” and manipulate information systems.

Thanks to the internet, we are continuously being bombarded by too much content as we jump from one post to another. And although we know that, to enhance our thinking and brain power and keep our neurotransmitters up and running, we should figure stuff out ourselves, it’s just so easy to ask AI for help.

Apart from wanting to write authentically, thinking and keeping my brain going is one of the reasons I don’t run my blog ideas through AI.  To read, think, ponder, write, delete, and rewrite is my commitment to synthesise my own content with humility.

Nevertheless, even though AI is a wonderful tool that gives us information and data, how do we learn to apply what’s given to us with wisdom? We know that knowledge is the accumulation of information and facts and that wisdom is the ability to apply and integrate knowledge effectively and appropriately. But do we know when something is really true. Within this context, I am, however, certain that:

 The big differentiator for the next few years will be our ability to verify and discern whether
something is true and to apply that truth with wisdom.     

I love the work of Yuval Noah Harari, a historian, philosopher, author, and professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Harari, in his latest book, Nexus, states:

History shows, again and again, that having access to more information doesn’t necessarily lead
to a better understanding of the world or wiser decision-making.

This then is our individual and corporate challenge:  to make wise decisions based on the truth; to sometimes use the tools at our disposal to get information quickly; and to then go slower to discern and apply this information.

Truth in a soulful moment

I recently spoke to the communications manager at Mergon, Cecile Weyers, about the impact of misinformation and disinformation. She mentioned how they were spending less time on content preparation and more time on reputation strategy, stakeholder trust, and making the calls that no algorithm should make.  Her summary resonates so much with my own thinking on soulful discernment when she says:

The irreplaceable value will be human judgement, ethical discernment, and the ability to
discern the times.

The way we slowly create meaning is such an important part of human judgement. And although our faith and spirituality might not verify truth empirically, most of us have deep inner experiences that we just know are true and wise, don’t we?  That moment when you feel in your soul that a conversation is real, a friendship is meaningful, a picture is beautiful, a silence is speaking to you, or a piece of music is moving you.  In a world that explodes with information overload and many instant fake messages, we must fight to keep our ability to, in a moment, deeply sense the truth, meaning, and beauty of a situation. We must not lose that!

In my research on spiritual intelligence, I’ve learnt that intelligent spirituality is the ability to discern the truth in times where information is often instant and fake. However, we not only need time for that, we need a slower pace to go deeper; to think and feel, and to do it again and again so that we can get as close as possible to true soulful experiences.

Soulfulness is the ability to discern, reflect and find truth in the moment. Soulfulness asks for a deeper journey with God and yourself in this world.  One of the biggest challenges I discovered in my daily interactions with people and organisations is the ability to apply knowledge with wisdom and ethics; the ability to discern the times. To soulfully engage with the truth about who God is, about who you are and about where you are.   These are the most important questions when we search for truth and wisdom.

The irreplaceable value will be human judgement, ethical discernment, and the ability to
discern the times.

Truth Café …

In September 2016, I had breakfast with Brian Draper (author, speaker and spiritual guide) in, of all places, the Truth Café in Cape Town. We were busy co-hosting a conference called “Shift Happens”, meeting people and organisations to explore the integration of spirituality into the workplace and different life areas.  Soon, Brian started asking me questions about my calling, what I sensed was happening around the topic of Soulfulness, and where it was moving me, and in that instant, I experienced clarity and truth in my own journey.  I remember it vividly. I can’t explain it, but I know it was a true and pivotal moment in my journey. A moment of truth in Truth Café!

Go and find those moments with God. They are there whenever we slow down, when we think for ourselves, and when we engage with what we feel.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• There is irreplaceable value in human judgement, ethical discernment and the ability to discern the times.
• I want to make sure that I still sense beauty and meaning and cultivate the experience of truth.
• My faith helps me to be soulful and seek truth, but I need to go slower.
• I must remember that there is a difference between information and wisdom.
• I must trust my judgement as it is based on wisdom and slow inner reflection.

REFLECT

When last did you experience a soulful moment of truth, where feeling, sensing, and discerning came together? Do you make time for this? What are the risks if you search for instant information all the time? Search and find those slower moments of truth with God.

RESPOND

Take a few minutes to sense something true for you (in that moment). A relationship, your love for your partner, your gratitude for something small, your experience of God …

Try this:

Set aside one morning a week during which you don’t ask ChatGpt, Claude, or Google for a quick answer. Instead, explore your wisdom, experience, and knowledge to find the answer.

BeWise!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

A walk in the Labyrinth

Last week I took a leadership team for a walk at the labyrinth on Rustenberg farm, close to Stellenbosch.

I was again struck by the power of walking together, walking slower, walking just for the sake of walking, and how, if we reflect while walking, we find deep connection. As one of the participants mentioned, “I became so aware of my feelings, I can’t believe it”. At the start of the exercise, I noticed that the team members walked at quite a pace, but, as they went along, they slowed down.  In an age where most of us multitask – where we simultaneously focus on more than one thing or path to “get somewhere” – it is quite unique to be given the opportunity to only focus on the next step as you follow a laid-out path.  Another participant mentioned that he usually struggled to concentrate and that he was surprised by his ability to stay focused on such a simple path.  

I agree with Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese monk and peace activist, who said:

The real miracle is not to fly or walk on fire.  The real miracle is to walk on the Earth, and you can
perform that miracle at any time. The miracle is to be present.  Walk through life and remember
that it is all a miracle!        

It is already a small miracle to be able to take a simple soulful walk. So, be aware of your steps, you might discover holy ground.

Take a soulful walk

Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor in medicine and creator of the Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme, refers to walking as “stillness in motion”. Kabat-Zinn describes it as a walking meditation where you don’t walk to get somewhere – you walk to focus only on “this step” and “this breath”. The challenge, he says, is to take each step as it comes and be fully present in it. It is beautiful how he compares “watching your step” (pun intended) to an “inner watching”.

I truly believe in the interplay between action and contemplation. It is true that some people battle to access their contemplative mind by only sitting, however, when they move slowly and deliberately the action often ignites their contemplative consciousness. Think about how you reflect while you ride your mountain bike – this is a form of active contemplation. In a recent session with a couple, when talking about their ability to have deeper conversations, one of the partners said that it was easier to have a deep conversation while they were walking, whereas they would sometimes find it difficult (and awkward) to just sit and do the same – another example of active contemplation.

“Ultimately, walking is stillness in motion … you are here in your body.
Simply remind yourself to be in this moment, taking each step as it comes.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Keep walking

No, this is not a Johnnie Walker ad! But it is also a small idea that may grow into something huge.  

The Camino de Santiago is a network of pilgrimage routes in Spain that leads to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela; it is also called ‘The way of St James’. Hikers and pilgrims from all over the world go to walk all or parts of these routes, which, in the Spanish part, can take anything between 6 to 8 weeks. In 2016 my wife walked about 240 km of this pilgrimage with her brother for 2 weeks. Upon her return, when I asked her what her main experience of walking a part of the Camino was, she said: “simplicity” and “time”. In life, to find simplicity and time, we must deliberately slow down. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said, because if you miss the “here” you are likely to also miss the “there”.

The Greek physician and philosopher, Hippocrates, was convinced that walking is man’s best medicine.  So, as you move deeper into this year, don’t forget to walk; and don’t forget to explore your inner path.  

I am realising a few simple things:

• We don’t always have to walk to get somewhere.
• Walking slowly and deliberately can be very meaningful and healthy.
• It is a small miracle to walk and be present.
• If I miss the “here” I might also miss the “there”.

REFLECT

When last did you walk, not to get somewhere, just to focus on each step with purpose? When you
walk, what do you experience? Are you anxious because you might be late? Do you experience
pain? Is it inconvenient? When you walk try to be consciously aware, even for a few moments, of
your inner walk. Deliberately try to practise action and contemplation.

RESPOND

Take 5 minutes and go for a slow deliberate walk. Be aware of each step, of each breath. Be open to
whatever you experience in that moment. Be open to your reflections. You could also try this when
doing other activities, like when you go fishing, or riding your mountain bike.

Try this:

Take a short walk now … without your phone …

Keep walking!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

A time to wait
The season of Advent (the time we wait and prepare for Christmas) reminds us to be patient, to wait and to expect God’s presence in the world. Advent means “the arrival of a notable person or thing”. In the Christian tradition this is the expectation and anticipation of the arrival of Jesus Christ. But this season is a reminder for everyone to expect and hope for new beginnings. It is a reminder to find God incarnated in every moment. For me it is a time to go slower, to think about key relationships and to remind myself to be patient.

Soulfulness is about being patient and wait for that moment of meaningful awareness, that moment where God’s presence is experienced in any simple way.

Expansion
I recently read an advent reflection of the Centre for Action and Contemplation and I found a metaphor that is applicable to everyone. Author Stephanie Duncan Smith writes of Mary’s yes to God as a choice for expansion over contraction, mirroring God’s own yes in creation. Our challenge is to challenge ourselves during this time to choose growth, to stretch ourselves and to keep creating.

She writes:

“Advent is nothing if not the story of beginnings, revealing a God who dares to expand, who chooses enlargement over happiness, no matter the chaos. This season shows us the astonishing view of a God gone radial, one who will never stop reaching toward his beloved, no matter the risks. And so, in the true spirit of Advent, we find our courage to chance.“

Soulfulness is about the courage to find growth and expansion in every moment. When we choose the growing edge, we often find out true self!

• Is there an area where you can stretch yourself this season?
• How and where can 2026 be a new beginning for you?
• Maybe God is reminding you of expansion over contraction?

May this advent be a time of wait and wonder and hope.
Merry Christmas!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

A random Sunday morning

It was a random Sunday morning, a few weeks ago, in our little thatched-roof church, when a simple moment of soulful response brought light (literary and figuratively) to our congregation.

I am part of a community choir, and we often perform and serve at church services. On this Sunday, we performed at my local church. After the service, over a cup of tea, one of the choir members asked me casually, “are the lightbulbs in your church screw in or push in”? What a weird question, I thought; nevertheless, I asked the church warden. I gave her feedback and kind of forgot all about it. To my surprise, the next evening at choir practice, she turned up with a bag full of light bulbs for our church – 40 of them!

“When we were singing, I saw that there were a few lightbulbs not working and I counted them,” she explained, and quickly shared her philosophy of life, which, in my view, is an example of soulfulness:

My purpose in life, which I had captured many years ago, is:
“To make a difference in somebody’s life every single day.”

Trust me, I have never needed the yellow pages to go look-up or find a suitable candidate, it comes to me throughout my daily walk with God, being open and receptive to God’s guiding light to fulfil the needs of others. It gives me the greatest satisfaction that I have managed to live my daily Purpose and to help those who need it most. Sunday morning was no exception; it was as if my eyes were lifted to the roof while singing in the choir, and when there was a quiet moment, I automatically started counting the light globes that were out! So no, I did not arrive there with the intention to do any maintenance; the need was handed to me on a platter. While driving home after the beautiful service, I started planning, and when I got home, I started searching for where to buy the replacement globes. Monday morning, off to Builders to buy the globes, and when I placed the shopping bag in the boot, I smiled and thanked God for yet another opportunity to make a difference where needed most.

Her action is such a great example of the interplay between awareness and response (soulfulness) – so simple, yet so deliberate. Talking with her, she emphasised the importance of acting immediately once you have realised there is an opportunity; something I wholeheartedly agree with.

Random acts of kindness

In a season of (sometimes) madness, this is a great reminder always to be open to random moments
of awareness (opportunity) and to then act deliberately with a soulful response. Shawn Achor (The Happiness Advantage) writes about how important it is to deliberately bring the positive into the present, because our brains respond to negativity and threat first. One way to bring the positive into the present is “random acts of kindness”. These random lightbulbs are just that: an example of somebody’s random act of kindness.

We’re only human. But we’re capable of kindness, so they call us humankind.

Humankind

I still believe that people are innately kind, which this story has again proven to me. The British band Coldplay sings a song titled Humankind, emphasising this inborn kindness in a simple, beautiful way:

I know, I know, I know How we’re designed
Oh, I know, I know, I know
We’re only human
But we’re capable of kindness
So they call us Humankind

Watch the song here.
Humankind … it made me realise:

• Every moment is an opportunity to be kind.
• The journey of soulful awareness asks for a deliberate, but simple response.
• It is possible to make a difference in somebody’s life every single day.
• When I see an opportunity, I need to act immediately, even if it is in a simple way.
  

REFLECT
Think for a few moments about the things that currently keep you from being aware and from responding with kindness. Stress and strain, overthinking, pressure and speed can often rob us of this ability. Make a few notes on this.

RESPOND
Find one situation in the next week to respond to with kindness – keep it simple and don’t be too hard on yourself – even if it is a smile or a sincere thank you, or to buy a lightbulb!

Try this:
Next time you see a lightbulb, remind yourself that even you can be a kind lightbulb …

Keep sharing your lightbulbs!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

A gentle reminder to count your blessings.

I recently rediscovered the connection between gratitude and grace. The Latin word gratus serves as the stem for both concepts and suggests that, in some way, thankfulness is always connected to our experience of grace. This is why we often refer to the evening meal prayer as “saying grace”.

We live in a world where we often miss the blessings that are right in front of us. We sometimes
don’t even acknowledge that the important things we have are gifts we can be grateful for. This is because in a reactive world, we tend not to realise that we have received a blessing (especially if we
have not ‘earned’ it).

As part of my faith journey, I try to respond to the grace I receive by being grateful.

Be Grateful

Saint Ignatius, priest and theologian, developed the Daily Examen. The Daily Examen is a morning prayer rhythm with which you can start your day. It is in the second movement of this prayer that you review your day with gratitude – such a meaningful way to start each day.

In his book, Soul Keeping, author, speaker, and pastor John Ortberg says that our attitude towards gratitude influences our mood. He suggests that we test this theory: start your day by being negative towards everyone you meet and by complaining about all that you can. The next day, start by being positive and recognising all you can be grateful for. At the end of day two, compare the difference in your mood and the way you feel.

Maybe try starting with gratitude next time you meet someone …

An unknown author described the link between grace and gratitude in spiritual practice as a dance,
an attitude and an emotion. The author wrote:

Together they transform how we view ourselves: not isolated actors struggling alone but beloved
participants in an unfolding divine story.

A life of soulfulness is to be aware of the gift of life, to know what you are grateful for, and to
respond to your blessings, simply yet deliberately. Soulfulness is to constantly be aware of grace and
respond with gratitude.

Count your blessings

So, let’s count our blessings as Irving Berlin sings in his song “Count Your Blessings” … “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. And I fall asleep counting my blessings.”

Grace and gratitude, together they transform how we view ourselves: not isolated actors struggling alone but beloved participants in an unfolding divine story.

I again realised that:
– Grace connects us all
– Important things in life are often free
– I should focus more on being grateful
– I need to be more deliberate and consider what I what I have been blessed with

REFLECT
Think about the blessings that you have in life, and pause for a few moments. Write down everything that you can be grateful for, or share them with somebody. How do you feel about
this? How can this influence your mood?

RESPOND
Write a note to someone you are grateful for, or keep a gratitude diary for the next month. Start every morning with a short prayer about what you are grateful for. Count your blessings in the evening before you go to sleep.

Try this:
Next time you meet someone, try starting the conversation with a word of gratitude.

Let’s count our blessings!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

I recently listened to a local radio station’s breakfast show. The hosts were talking to a guy who holds the record for a well-known mobile phone app game. He shared how he has been playing this game, year by year, progressing from level to level … and when asked why, he replied:

“It is a wonderful way to kill time.”

Why would you want to kill time?
This comment really bothered me. If you live a life of soulfulness, you would want to multiply your awareness of time and slow it down, and give life to your time.

I definitely don’t want to kill time.
Our time is consumed by busyness, speed, instant messaging, and Instagram reels, but is this really what we want to spend our time on? One of the challenges in my own life is to make my time feel slower. I want to multiply meaning in my time and give life to my time; this became a calling and a career. And no, I still don’t have the answer to how to do this, but oh, I’ll keep on trying.

One notion that helps me in being more deliberate with my time is the Greek philosophical term
Prohairesis, which is particularly central to Stoic philosophy. In 2023, after many years, I reconnected with a university lecturer of mine, Prof Daniel Louw. He told me about an autobiography that he had recently written (at the age of almost 80). The book is titled Daar is meer (There is more) and records his search for authentic Christian spirituality. In 2024, Prof Louw received the Andrew Murray prize for this enormous work of close to 700 pages. While reading Daar is meer, his reference to the Greek word Prohairesis caught my eye and stirred my soul. It describes a way to be more deliberate with my time.

Prohairesis refers to “a kind of invincibility we cultivate”. It is the Stoic idea (Prof Louw referenced
Ryan Holiday) that wants to help us towards a more meaningful life, with wise decision-making, and by having a specific mantra or mindset. Prohairesis wants us to be intentional by asking the following questions in a specific situation:

Is this really the life that I want?

Every time I get upset, do I allow a little bit of life to leave my body?

Are these really the things I want to spend my precious resources on?

I know it is not always simple to make this choice, but there are times when it’s possible to decide whether you want to invest your time in a specific action, conversation, emotional experience, etc.

Prohairesis is a Greek philosophical term meaning faculty of choice, volition, or moral purpose.

Is this the way I want to spend my precious resources at this moment?

Reclaim your ability to choose. When you get angry, when you take out your phone to scroll through another real, or have a conversation with somebody who takes too much of your energy, think about your time. Choose how you want to give life to your time. Ask, is this how I want to spend my precious resources at this moment? Don’t kill time, give life to time! This is what soulfulness is about.

Capture a holy idiom that will help give life to your time. In his book, Professor Louw also referred to the notion of a mantra or what he calls a “holy idiom” – I love this. When you ask, “Is this how I want to spend my resources at this moment?”, capture a holy idiom that will help you give life to
your time. Mine is: Don’t kill time, give life to it!

The notion of Prohairesis made me realise a few simple things.

• We need to be intentional when spending our precious time.
• We can (sometimes) choose to make time more meaningful.
• If we spend two hours each day on social media, it is a whole month out of our year.
• Prohairesis helps us prioritise and choose the life that we want in every moment.
• We should choose a holy idiom to guide our actions.

REFLECT
Use the following questions to reflect and make a few notes:
What is the life that I want?
What are the things I want to spend my precious time and resources on?
How do I again give life to my time?

RESPOND
Write down your “holy idiom” that will direct your mindset for the next few weeks – make it visible, put it on your desk, at your front door, or on your fridge.

Try this:
Next time somebody upsets you, choose how you are going to react. Are you going to waste your precious resources? Are you going to choose to give life to your time? Are you going to choose life?

Go well and remember to give life to your time!

Only 2 more spots are available at my upcoming leader’s retreat on 14/11/2025, called Christmas
in November. If you want to know more, send me an email or book your spot here.

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

What is your normal?

Every year, I invite business leaders to join our Christmas in November Leaders’ Retreat at Zorgvliet Wine Estate. I tell them it is an appointment with themselves: take the day, leave the office, switch off your phones. At the retreat, they are encouraged to use my framework to reflect on their past year and soulfully plan for the year to come. Later, I use an exercise, the “six-word memoir” to help them capture in six words their awareness of the day. And without exception, I am excited and fascinated about what these leaders take from the day, as well as their ability to create and capture something for themselves to hold on to.

At the end of last year’s retreat, one business leader’s six words were:

“Normal is a washing machine setting.”

Wow, did these words tell a story! I reflected on this for a long time and concluded that this was a critical and humorous observation on what we perceive as normal and how linear our perception of normality is. Is there even such a thing as normal? Who decides if something or someone is normal? Do we perceive dominant ideas or our culture as normal? What about somebody who is outside of this? Hey, what if we are all abnormal?

In therapy sessions, people would often ask: “Is this normal?”. If I answer “yes”, they feel better, but if I say “no”, they feel that they (we) need to work towards normality. I always feel uncomfortable having this much power in somebody’s life. I also believe the ethical responsibility to define normality is much broader, socially dependent, and relative to the context. However, the experience and sense of normality or abnormality can make or break someone’s identity. The need to belong and to fit in, and the need to be okay, really influence our perception of normality.

That’s why, perhaps due to my critical reflections on normality, I do not want to dismiss clinical realities, diagnosis and interventions – it is valuable and important. In The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate challenges the conventional definitions of health. He argues that what we perceive as normal is often a response to harmful and stressful environments. We want to be safe, don’t we? He talks about the pressure of conformity in modern society and how this often leads to chronic disease. He proposes self-awareness and a life of authenticity as the remedy for this.

Does what you currently experience as normal influence your well-being?

Maybe it’s important to remember that “normal” is, after all, just a washing machine setting! This six-word memoir made me think critically about my own experience of normality. It also made me decide not to always subscribe to the dominant culture of ‘normal’. I realised that I could embrace my own experience of being different and choose to just be authentic.

This notion made me realise a few simple things.
– It is okay to sometimes act outside of what is perceived as normal.
– We experience a lot of stress and doubt because of this internal conversation.
– What we perceive as normal is often harmful, and the pressure to conform is real.
– Love yourself just as you are! Be authentic, it is okay.
– The experience of normality can build or break someone’s experience of themselves.

REFLECT
Take some time to reflect on your current experience of normality and how this influences your well-being. What or who influences this experience? Make notes on this.

RESPOND
Embrace one thing about yourself that is different and love yourself for it! Write this down on a Post-it note and stick it on your fridge. Take a picture of yourself and make a hard copy of it.

Try this:
Schedule time for yourself before the end of the year to take things slower. In the spirit of our Christmas in November Leaders’ Retreat, make an appointment with yourself to reflect on the year and maybe reflect further on your experience of normality. It doesn’t have to be a day retreat, just a few hours to disconnect. Or join the Leaders’ Retreat.

Choose not to be normal and BeSoulful!

Is your work experience normal? We are looking forward to creating some space for purposeful reflection at our annual Leaders’ Retreat (one day), called Christmas in November. If you want to know more, send me an email or book your spot here.

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.