A few years ago, my wife started a coffee business and decided to call it “Selah Coffee”.  As part of her branding, selah meant “an intentional pause”.  She’s built it around that moment when your coffee’s aromas and tastes make you want to pause; that moment when having a fresh coffee can help you just “pause” and “be”; that selah moment.

Selah is a Hebrew word that’s been penned in the Bible 74 times. It is also specifically used in Psalms and Habakkuk as a liturgical marker.  Literally, selah is translated to mean “suspension of music” or “pause”. So, it’s the same as when you have to rest between musical notes or when reading a poem – where the rests and intervals create silent rhythms that contribute to the quality and flow of the performance.  With music and words, having moments of stillness often creates something even better. Because if it wasn’t for the silence, there wouldn’t have been sound.

Figuratively, selah nearly has the same meaning – moments of stillness that enhance the meaning of life. Those moments that we pause, that we contemplate, that we just are; those are the moments when we create meaning and substance. And that is really what life is about. Let this selah be a metaphor for you and me to come to an intentional pause, wherever we are.

Stillness

Actor, producer and well-known narrator Morgan Freeman recently said:

“Learning how to be still … to really be still and let life happen, that stillness becomes a radiance, a powerful lesson on finding clarity in a restless world …”

Stillness, pauses, and moments of selah can give you clarity in a restless world. The process of spiritual discernment asks for selah – to stop what you are doing, pause, and surrender to stillness. Once we have this ritual structure to regularly pause with acute awareness, that’s when selah can help us create a life liturgy.  

Back in 1654, Blaise Pascal already said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

This is what selah is about: to sit quietly for a moment.

        Stillness becomes a powerful lesson on finding clarity in a restless world.
Morgan Freeman

End well, rest well, start well

And now, with the silly season beckoning and before December rushes in, I encourage everyone to take an intentional pause. I created the annual Christmas in November Leaders’ retreat to afford our mentors some structured space at the end of the year. This retreat not only provides moments of selah to make sure those who join us can end the year well, but it also provides them with the opportunity to rest properly and be intentional in their approach to the new year.

This deliberate action to go quiet, slow down, and contemplate applies to us all.  We don’t have to wait until Christmas to take a break. We can’t just start slowing down in November I know this. But we can give ourselves moments, to find clarity, and come December, we can be more present and enjoy a much deeper rest wherever we are. Selah is when we can create space for ourselves to think about the past year and pause on what has happened so far, before looking at what lies ahead.

To take a day in November, to go slower and contemplate my year in a structured way, has become one of my better habits. It’s become an important rhythm (liturgy) in my own life. It has also become the first step towards taking a proper break.  In fact, I have just realised I’m changing my diary entry to “selah”.  It doesn’t mean slowing down in November, because that is not realistic, it means slowing down deliberately for one day or a few hours.

I’m reminding myself of the following:

• Without intentional rests, there can be no music.
• It is often the intentional pause that enhances the meaning of my life.
• Selah can be a metaphor for taking an intentional pause in a specific area of your life.
• It is especially this time of the year that we need to be deliberate about this.

REFLECT

Take a few moments to reflect on your life and commitments at the moment – where do you need to press pause? Think about your life roles or themes and identify one area that needs selah.

RESPOND

Look at your diary for the rest of the year. Enter selah into it and take half a day or a day for yourself.   Or choose a weekly slot where you write selah – a pause for yourself. Or, if applicable, join my Christmas in November Retreat.

Try this:

Next time, when you’re having coffee (or tea), whether it’s a takeaway, at home, at a coffee shop, even in the office, take your time, smell your drink, feel the cup in your hands, see the steam rise, when you sip it, taste it, and feel the warmth of the liquid. Pause … and be in that moment, because that is your selah.

Selah!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to take “selah” time and need ideas, ask me, I am happy to think with you.

For info about and bookings for Christmas in November, click here.

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I love taking walks on the beach. Hearing the sound of the ocean while walking barefoot in the sand connects me with our planet. Seeing my steps etched into the sand makes me even more aware of each footstep that I take.  Not a bad exercise: walking slowly while focusing on each step.

We recently visited Witsand, a coastal village 40 km from Heidelberg, South Africa. Sitting at the mouth of the massive Breede River, with Infanta neatly perched on the opposite side, Witsand is a beautiful place. This was also where we went walking. However, the devastation of the floods that took place in the Western Cape in May 2026 was clearly evident.  Massive trees, plastic water tanks, tyres, even farm implements, lined the river mouth. These came downstream from riverfront properties several kilometres inland. Yet, in between the destruction and debris, we found driftwood; and for several kilometres of beach, we were treated to the most beautiful and diverse sculptures of driftwood.

Each piece of driftwood has its own story. Having spent years being scrubbed, washed and tumbled, some of them looked as if a carpenter spent hours sanding and carving them. At home, studying the few pieces that found their way back with us, I realised how much we can learn from how driftwood ends up being so beautifully bruised. 

Beauty carved out

Apart from being naturally beautiful, driftwood also serves as a metaphor for life and even leadership. In our lives, we are often like driftwood, being thrown back and forth, sometimes underwater, sometimes above water, not knowing if we are coming or going.  This process (life) could easily leave scars, cause painful moments and lead to uncertainty.  On the other hand, beauty and character are also created with hours and hours of scrubbing, sanding and sculpting to form a unique piece of art.

Somehow, the driftwood made me think of Maximillian’s song called “Beautiful Scars” and Leonard Cohen’s “Anthem”.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

        There’s a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.                                                                                               Leonard Cohen

Falling Upward

Leonard Cohen’s words were how these random pieces of wood really spoke to me. It is such an important metaphor and, apart from being applicable to life, it can definitely be applied to organisations.

Over the past few years, one of the organisations I’ve been involved with for some time went through a very tough two- to three-year period financially.  From month to month, this organisation didn’t know whether they would stay afloat.  They were literally like a piece of wood, lost at sea, drifting on the tides. Their challenge was to continue supporting their people and to remain being honest and authentic, while staying close to their purpose.  Their uncertainty created scars, pain and worries. However, today, after weathering the storm, I am a witness that they stayed the course, that their scars found purpose, and that they have been left with more and better opportunities. 

I am aware that in these uncertain times many leaders feel like driftwood, which made me think of the book by Richard Rohr, Falling Upward. Rohr mentions that falling is sometimes necessary as it forms part of spiritual growth; it is similar to how loss, failure and suffering often help us grow.

While considering Cohen’s words, “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in”, what is your driftwood experience? When and why did you feel lost at sea? And how did it affect you?

I’m reminding myself of the following:

• Driftwood is a wonderful metaphor for many of life’s experiences.
• It is sometimes through difficult times that beauty is sculpted.
• In hindsight, falling is sometimes necessary.
• It is important to remember that suffering often help us grow.

REFLECT

What is your driftwood experience? In today’s world, how do you identify with a piece of driftwood that was washed ashore?  How do you identify with the process of carving when there is difficulty? Take a few moments to reflect on this and make a few notes.

RESPOND

Next time, when you take a walk, pick up something, like a piece of driftwood; a river stone; any used object that you find beautiful.  Then use that as a reminder of today’s message.  A reminder that suffering also creates beauty and meaning.

Try this:

Next time, when you take a walk, walk slower and be open to seeing the beauty around you.

Until next time!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

I love writing my own blogs. I do this without using AI, mostly because I want to grapple with and think about or consider each topic. It is a process of deep discernment. I also do it because I find that the process of creating and deleting texts helps my creativity and neurons to fire. Nevertheless, I often need some help, which is why I send my blog to somebody else (a real person!) to edit.

My editor has this amazing ability to take my words and choose with grace and respect what to leave out, while keeping my message. She calls her business Words4U, a fitting summary of her philosophy, which is to emphasise my words. And yes, I know I can use AI for this; however, I enjoy the back and forth between us, and not to be too quick to edit. I also prefer the human message.

Stephen King said, “to write is human; to edit is divine”.  An unknown editor wrote, “my job is to make life as effortless as possible for the reader”. Editing is indeed a creative process and an art, and this is exactly what I experience when my editor’s magic elevates my message.

The invisible art

During the June holidays, I read a book from Greg McKeown called Essentialism, the disciplined pursuit of less.  One of the chapter headings is “EDIT – the invisible art”, in which the author reminded me how important an editor is. I also realised how this could be applied in life.  McKeown describes an editor as someone who uses deliberate subtraction to add life to ideas.  He helped me realise that, in life, a disciplined process of editing can add much more if you know what to subtract or remove to increase space wherein meaningful activities can blossom. Editing is indeed an art and an important concept that should be applied to life and work.

It is ironic that the Latin root of the word decision – cis or cid – literally means “to cut” or “to kill”. To decide means to cut whatever needs cutting.

This concept is just as applicable in organisations and leadership. Leadership is often a discerning process of what to keep and what to let go. Do we, as leaders, still have time for this kind of discernment while we run the rat race? Do we regularly discern what to let go of or what to simplify?  Isn’t editing a core responsibility of each leader? This is exactly how Jack Dorsey, the co-founder of Twitter, describes the role of a CEO, namely as the chief editor of the company.

McKeown reminds us that to become an Essentialist, we must cut, condense, and correct as a natural part of our daily routine – making editing a natural cadence in our lives.

                To write is human, to edit is divine… Stephen King

Edit your life

What does it mean to regularly edit your life, and which practices could facilitate this? It might be a daily reflection or prayer.  It might be to capture beauty once a day.  It could be whatever helps you to discern the essential and to create a discipline of editing.

Soulfulness is the continuous process of editing your life. We can call it the spiritual discipline of editing, because once you are aware of your purpose, your identity, as well as your impact, you continuously decide what to keep, what to cut, what to reframe, and what to rephrase.  With the overwhelming noise and information (emotionally and spiritually) that we are continuously bombarded with, our ability to discern the essence becomes even more important and highlights that we must work on our editing, every single day.  

Being part of communities, many of us also have the amazing privilege to edit each other’s lives, whether in relationships, friendships, as parents, or as colleagues – let us not forget this responsibility. 

And whereas some may use AI for text editing, the process of editing life cannot be automated. This is something we must do. We must, in essence, find ways to grapple with our life texts!

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• Editing is a spiritual discipline I must use to cut, correct, and condense life continuously.
• I must deliberately create this discipline of editing in life.
• I must keep discerning what to let go and what to keep.
• Leadership is also a process of discerning what to keep and what to let go of.
• It is a privilege to edit each other’s lives with respect.
• It is good to grapple with words, texts and life’s ways, before asking for instant help.

REFLECT

What does your process of disciplined editing look like?  What do you need to cut or subtract now to focus on what is essential? Can editing be part of your spiritual discipline? Take a few moments to reflect on this.

RESPOND

Look at something specific in your life and establish if you can cut, correct, or condense that issue. Or remind yourself once a week to “keep editing”.

Try this:

Next time, before you quickly ask AI to edit your words or texts, sit and grapple with the content for a little while.  It is good for you!

If you are looking for a good (human) editor, ask me! Or click Words4U.

Keep editing.

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

My father turned 80 last year. His can-do attitude, his ability to keep learning, and his curiosity are inspirational to all of us.  His decision to start his second PhD at 77 years old is a tangible testimony of this attitude. He is planning to submit his dissertation in September this year.

At the time that my father heard that he could study again, he reflected on his gratitude for the opportunity and referred to something he called “holy curiosity”. In an email to his study leaders, he wrote:

                I thank my study leaders who awakened in me the holy curiosity about God’s trinity.

He talks about his respectful curiosity that reconnected him to the mystery of God. I remember him phoning me one evening with a child-like excitement about something he read as part of his studies on the Trinity. To put things in perspective: My father has been reading theology for the past 55 years, yet with absolute gratitude, he remains curious, excited and in wondrous awe of God’s mysterious being.

Since I was a child, my father’s perpetual can-do attitude and energy to learn have been contagious to those around him. This was not the case for my father, who, as an only child, was orphaned at the age of 20. At a time when many of us were only starting to explore adulthood, my father had only himself, his attitude and his mindset to rely on.

Knowing my dad, it was no surprise when he recently sent me a quote from Anthony Hopkins with his own reflections on the ability to keep living a life of curiosity. Accompanied by Anthony Hopkins’s quote was my father’s reflection on not letting the fear of time stop you from enjoying life and allowing passion to keep you going. For this, I honour him.

But let’s pause for a moment on the quote from Anthony Hopkins at the age of 87. 

Age is not a barrier when you find passion in what you do. The real secret lies in keeping your curiosity alive, continuing to learn, and not letting the fear of time
stop you from enjoying life. Every day is a new opportunity to create, to laugh, and to show that it is never too late to move forward with enthusiasm and joy.   Anthony Hopkins

Let us unpack this. The Jungian analyst, James Hollis, writes about the origin of the word enthusiasm.  “Enthusiasm” derives from two Greek words, en and theos; directly translated, this means in (en) God (theos). Ancient Greek refers to this as divine inspiration. Enthusiasm can thus be described as a spiritual energy that is found inside each of us that connects to our experience of something or someone bigger.

This means that there is a daily opportunity for each of us to access our spiritual energy and ability – it is always there for us to tap into – even on the days we may find it difficult to do so. It is up to us; we can choose to be open to the possibilities of each day, what we can learn, and where we can find God. Yet, it is our fear of the unknown, of failure, and of time that often keeps us from having an attitude of holy curiosity and that steals our enthusiasm. We must not allow our fears to stop us from being curious, from learning, and from using every moment of our lives.  

I am not naive about the fact that there are difficult moments in life; I am just hoping that we can keep on trying to choose a holy curiosity.

Holy Curiosity

For me, holy curiosity is part of soulfulness.  To live soulfully is to be open in every moment, to discover, to learn, to sense your passions, while always being curious about your opportunities. Soulfulness is to be open to what God reveals to you; it is about finding meaning and beauty, despite your circumstances; it is absolutely about finding the divine inspiration and living with enthusiasm, in other words, living every moment in God …

Thus, soulfulness has a lot to do with our mindset to celebrate what is right with the world and be open to the possibilities offered to us in every moment, despite difficult circumstances, external pressure and so on.  This doesn’t mean that we must deny our reality or ignore our difficult circumstances or external pressure – I speak to people in my practice every day with difficult circumstances that they didn’t necessarily choose – but I certainly hope and pray that we can find a sense of agency in any circumstance, and exercising a holy curiosity is part of this.

For me “holy curiosity” is part of Soulfulness …

Today, I am so grateful for my dad’s attitude of holy curiosity. To repeat the words of Hopkins:

Every day is indeed a new opportunity to create, to laugh, and to show that it is never too late to move forward with enthusiasm and joy!

So let us be curious and in every moment ask:

What can I learn here?

How am I in God in this moment?

What is my opportunity here?

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• We can live a soulful life by having an attitude of curiosity.
• I’ll do well to choose this attitude every day.
• Despite our circumstances, there is a divine spirit in each of us, thank God!  
• I want to be an enthusiast in God.
• We can find an opportunity in each moment.

REFLECT

Where do you need divine inspiration in your life at this moment? Where do you need to find or choose a holy curiosity? Think about a moment where fear and uncertainty kept you from seeing possibilities. Make a few notes on this, or just find a few quiet minutes to reflect on this.

RESPOND

Choose this curiosity in a specific moment. Take seven days and remind yourself every morning to be curious and open to what you can learn. Go to that specific situation and say to yourself, “I choose curiosity”!

Try this:

Set a reminder on your phone for a specific time of the day for one week with the message: “Be curious”. See what happens …

Be Curious!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Are you an inbox zero person, or do you have 2143 emails in your inbox?  Do you delete read emails or keep them just in case?

How we manage our inboxes might be telling of our personalities and how we manage life.

Over the last few months, I started receiving email alerts from my web domain hosting service advising me that I urgently needed to delete some emails as my inbox was close to its maximum capacity. The message:

[URGENT ACTION REQUIRED] Disk Usage Notification.

However, the more I tried to delete messages, the more I received this alert.  It felt like I was deleting emails, but my actions were not making any difference.  Isn’t this how life often feels?  You think you’re decluttering, but you’re only scratching the surface.  And the more you try, the more you fail.

One day, after months of receiving these messages, I sat down and went through each unread email and large attachment. I spent time getting to the root of my storage issue and cleaned out my inbox.  What a relief! Not only for having inbox space, but also for not receiving urgent commands anymore. Yet, what surprised me most was my emotional reaction to this spring clean. You may wonder why something so mundane would make me think about my own habits and of performing a good cleanup regularly – I mean, I might not be an inbox zero person. Still, a regular cleanup could make a huge difference, not only to my inbox but also to other areas of life. Just to create space, all I have to do is to regularly delete, declutter, clean up, simplify and cleanse.

Declutter stories

Having experienced the benefits of a good declutter, I became more aware of how this theme popped up in people’s lives, their relationships, their leadership roles, and their businesses.

• In a recent coaching discussion, I was reminded of the concept of decluttering when my client spoke about considering whether they should move out of their original family home after many years. We talked about the necessity of scaling down and about how painful taking such a step could be.
• A colleague who closed her practice for 18 months and moved abroad on her own told me that, on her return, she experienced a more spacious and decluttered environment. 
• Over the last two weeks, I was involved in two leaders’ coaching discussions during which we reflected on how our sense of responsibility and helping others filled our plates (read inboxes) to the brim and how this was causing us to feel oversubscribed, overwhelmed, not knowing where to start or when to stop, as if we were running to stand still. One client mentioned, “I needed to hand work back to other people deliberately” and “I had to renegotiate what pulling my weight means”. The other client asked: “Where do I deliberately step away from specific roles and give work back to my team?” 

Let’s simplify

At a recent workshop with a software development firm, I asked the participants if they did anything to prevent their workspace from becoming so cluttered that it stole their focus.  I challenged the participants to declutter their digital and physical spaces at the office and at home, simply because the spaces that people work in speak to their senses.

Our emotional space is often oversubscribed as well.  If we battle with something emotionally, it might perpetuate that feeling of not knowing where to start or of not getting anywhere. I often advise people to identify their issues and to take a pebble and leave it somewhere as if they were “letting go” of their problems.  To throw their pebble in a pond or to place it somewhere – although this doesn’t always take away the burden, this action might be a small step towards “putting it down”, creating space or letting it go.

In his book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown writes about doing less but doing it better.  He refers to important historical figures who probably subscribed to the idea of “less but better”, such as the Dalai Lama, Steve Jobs, Leo Tolstoy, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffett, Mother Theresa and Henry David Thoreau.

Thoreau said:

I do believe in simplicity.  It is astonishing as well as sad, how many trivial affairs even the wisest thinks he must attend to in a day; so, simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real.

… so, simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real …

Whether you apply this theme physically or spiritually, you must try to live lighter. 

For an excellent and practical guide to declutter your digital space, look at Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• Our physical and emotional spaces speak to our senses – if cluttered, they steal our energy.
• I’ll do well to regularly cleanup and declutter.
• I need to reflect on my cluttered emotional space.
• If I carry too much, it will rob me of my day-to-day meaningful moments.
• I could renegotiate my responsibility, as this is a form of decluttering.

REFLECT

Where does my “inbox dilemma” resonate with you today?  Is there an area or aspect in your life for which you ‘receive’ an urgent message about your ‘storage’? Is this the area where you try to delete and cleanse but only manage to scratch the surface? Is it your sense of space? Is it spiritually? Or maybe your way of work?

RESPOND

Be deliberate: Identify an emotional area or physical space that you can declutter. Throw away something.  Give something that you rarely use to somebody who needs it, forgive someone, or delete a few emails.

Try this:

Take a pebble, think about how this is a symbol of something that you need or want to let go of. Now place that pebble somewhere or throw it into a pond, simulating “letting it go”.  

Get cleaning!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Last weekend was a long weekend in South Africa.  I had the privilege to nip away to the Ladismith district in the Klein Karoo with my wife for a weekend in a small, remote cottage on a farm.  After dinner on Friday night, we were standing outside at the fire and found ourselves in complete silence, looking up at the stars for about 10 minutes.  With no artificial light and only the moon to light up the fields, the stars were beautiful – leaving us in silent awe of the wonder of nature. Being part of nature made us realise (again) that we are part of something much grander and bigger. It also accentuated our knowing that God was intimately part of that moment. Those silent moments lingered for the whole weekend.

Even though I don’t do it often enough, it is quite amazing to stop, be quiet and look up at the stars every now and then.  Of course, it helps if there are no artificial lights and sounds, as staring into the night sky makes you aware of your small and insignificant world, which often feels so big and heavy.  It is comforting and humbling to be aware of something bigger. There is a galaxy out there, big and vast – and acknowledging its awe and wonder could be extremely helpful.

Looking up

I have given that moment of looking up a lot of thought, as it represents an important message and an important reminder.  I have realised that we are sometimes so focused on the challenges in front of us, being pulled into reality, that we forget that there is Something and Someone much bigger. In a world of bickering and infighting, wars and conflicts, and droughts and floods, we often overlook that there is a world much bigger than ours.  Looking up into the big skies more often will do us well.

Looking up is a metaphor on so many levels.  Yes, you can look up at the sky at night, or at the clouds during the day, but metaphorically, it is also important in life to “look up” more often and see beyond the challenges in front of you and to find perspective on whatever obstacles you must face. Look up and live in dependence on God, because looking up means acknowledging your dependence and believing that there is Someone watching over you. It means believing that you are not alone.

This is also true for business challenges; those times when we are unable to see the big picture because of immediate obstacles. That is when it’s important to look up from your screen, out of the window, or quickly see your colleagues.  It could also work if you could remind yourself why you do what you do!

Looking up is a metaphor on so many levels and so important.

Artemis II

When I looked at the moon that night, I thought about the experiences of those aboard the Artemis II.  The historic NASA-led spaceflight mission, the first crewed flyby around the moon in April 2026. I thought about their perspectives looking down. One of the crew members, Christina Koch, posted an emotional message on Instagram about how looking down gave her perspective about the beauty of the simple things in life.

“This moment,” Koch wrote, “people often ask if I was scared. But I was aware of the risks. When I left my home for the last time on March 27, I looked around and thought about how much I loved my humble little life. Unexpectedly, a part of me started to miss it terribly for the small chance in the future that could come to be. I know a morning cup of coffee on the porch with your best friend is a simple and universally small thing. But it is also everything,” she concluded.

Looking up might give us perspective, just as looking down gave Christina perspective.  We’ll do well to sometimes look up from our conflicts, our challenges, our stressors and our strains. And while I am very aware of all the disharmony and conflict in the world, Christina’s looking down has helped me to look at earth through a lens of unity and camaraderie. It gave me hope.

She also shared another reflection on her welcome back speech, which further emphasised her experience. You can watch it HERE.

May looking up be a metaphor for you for the rest of the year. Look up from your screen, look up and see your loved ones, look up and see the clouds, the stars, and the moon! Look up and be aware that there is Someone bigger.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• I’ll do well to look up more often.
• I need to look up and see the people around me.
• I need to stop and look up more often to get perspective on the here and now.
• Looking up is a metaphor to look beyond our obstacles and see the big picture.
• All the artificial light and noise sometimes make me forget the Divine.

REFLECT

What does “looking up” mean to you today?
When was the last time you “looked up” practically and metaphorically? 
Which are the things bogging you down causing you to get stuck in the here and now?

What do you need to look up from at this moment? Maybe there is something that is just “too big” to look away from? Maybe a core emotion, or something that you repeat when talking too yourself.  Or maybe there is just too much pressure and noise to recognise anything else.  Think about these questions for a few minutes …

RESPOND

Be deliberate to look up from the here and now – decide on one small action.  Whether it is a worry, a business challenge, or just a lack of space and time that is locking you in.  In your relationship maybe just look up and see your partner again? Look up!

Try this:

Switch off all the artificial lights you can, then go out at night and look up at the stars for 10 minutes … just stand there … this might represent a small step of “looking up” …

Ironically our little remote cottage last weekend in the Klein Karoo is named The Eye.  I don’t think this is a coincidence!

May you see the stars!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

For info and booking on Christmas in November click here.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The need to be seen

Recently, at the end of a discussion session with a young couple in my practice, I asked each of them to share one simple thing their partner could do that would help them steer their relationship in a different direction. “What is one simple thing your partner can do that will help you just a little?” The man answered: “I just want her to see me”. This answer not only touched me; it reminded me of our most basic need, the need to be affirmed – to be seen, heard and acknowledged. I often hear this in my work with individuals, couples and organisations. I also experience it at home.

We are bombarded by negative feedback and distractions, even in our relationships and friendships, where we just want to be acknowledged. However, we also easily give negative feedback or highlight what is wrong, but rarely do we focus on what we appreciate and what is right. We seem to find it difficult to celebrate the rights of the world and not only focus on the wrongs.   

I experience this tendency in my partnership with my wife. Ordinarily, while managing life, parenting and a house together, we may have ten interactions a day, with eight of those being about positive things and only two about negative matters. Yet, what do we do? We will often highlight the negatives first; what the other one did not do, or did not say, instead of focusing on what was going well; what we could affirm! It’s the same with kids. To see and acknowledge what they do right is crucial! This is just as important in organisational teams and leadership. Simon Sinek mentions that one of the most important aspects of leadership is to make people feel that they are heard. This is my experience as well.

A culture of affirmation …

I have found that many organisations need to build a culture of affirmation. Regularly appreciating each other’s contributions and being deliberate in thanking somebody when they did well go a long way.  When we build a culture where we frequently affirm each person’s unique contribution and really see them, it becomes much easier to manage our differences and critical feedback constructively.  Performance feedback often turns out to be about what somebody did wrong or can do better, and that no news means good news; when you do well, you won’t hear from us, but when you make a mistake, we’ll point it out. This approach automatically makes somebody more defensive and less open to receiving critical feedback. (Disclaimer 1: I might be overly dramatic about this, but you get my point, right?)

In Frederic Laloux’s research, he emphasises the move from fear and scarcity to joy and abundance while acknowledging that people come to work as their whole selves. I find that implementing such a culture of affirmation also fosters wholeness and abundance in the workplace.

I firmly believe that if we were more deliberate in building a culture of affirmation, we would find that people (professionally and personally) will develop a better ability to manage critical feedback, leading to healthier employees, friends and families. When I feel good about my contribution, I have more capacity to manage pressure and to rectify mistakes proactively. This is true in any relationship!

(Disclaimer 2: It is not my intention that people in organisations must spend their time on fake compliments and touchy-feely feedback. This is about finding basic human ways of sending an affirmative message: “I see you”.)

 When I feel good about my contribution, I have more capacity to manage pressure and
to rectify my mistakes pro–actively.   

See yourself!

This challenge starts with the way we speak to ourselves. In my coaching practice, I’ve learned that the person you are in conversation with the most is yourself, right? With most of us, there are many valid past and present reasons for criticising ourselves. Reminding ourselves of the things we did not do, did wrong, or where we just did not fit into the dominant group? What if we started seeing ourselves with grace, could acknowledge what we did right, and could recognise our good intentions? What if we could see that we’re okay? It is so easy to only focus on the negatives – a world of war, of violence and rising petrol prices. Why not rather see something beautiful or meaningful around us? Last night I saw a beautiful moon rising – it is there, I just had to acknowledge and see it.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• We have the need to be seen and acknowledged in most of our relationships.  
• When we foster a culture of affirmation, it is easier to receive critical feedback.
• We should try to look at ourselves with affirmation and appreciation, the way that God sees us!
• We can do better to celebrate what is right with this world.
• Couples can always start by acknowledging and affirming each other as a first step.

REFLECT

When was the last time you felt seen? Think about an example where you experienced that your contribution was acknowledged. Pause with this for a moment and recognise the impact this had in your life …

RESPOND

Find a moment to acknowledge somebody and send them a message that you see them, whether that is in your team, your relationship, or in your role as a parent or leader. Affirm somebody authentically. Or just celebrate something around you that is right with this world.

Try this:

Find something that you can affirm about yourself or where you may need to look at yourself through God’s loving grace.

Go and affirm!!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership Process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

How do you know if what you think is the truth is really true? For example, if you see or hear something, how do you know that it’s the truth? With so much information on offer, this is a real challenge – to know if something is true or not? Do you trust your gut? Do you go with your inner experience? Do you rely on your wisdom?

Based on the World Economic Forum’s (WEF) recent Global Risks Report, misinformation and disinformation would, over the next two years, be the number one most severe short-term risk which could undermine trust and support instability. According to their  Global Risk Report, 2025, this risk is intensified by the rapid adoption of artificial intelligence (AI) to create “synthetic content” and manipulate information systems.

Thanks to the internet, we are continuously being bombarded by too much content as we jump from one post to another. And although we know that, to enhance our thinking and brain power and keep our neurotransmitters up and running, we should figure stuff out ourselves, it’s just so easy to ask AI for help.

Apart from wanting to write authentically, thinking and keeping my brain going is one of the reasons I don’t run my blog ideas through AI.  To read, think, ponder, write, delete, and rewrite is my commitment to synthesise my own content with humility.

Nevertheless, even though AI is a wonderful tool that gives us information and data, how do we learn to apply what’s given to us with wisdom? We know that knowledge is the accumulation of information and facts and that wisdom is the ability to apply and integrate knowledge effectively and appropriately. But do we know when something is really true. Within this context, I am, however, certain that:

 The big differentiator for the next few years will be our ability to verify and discern whether
something is true and to apply that truth with wisdom.     

I love the work of Yuval Noah Harari, a historian, philosopher, author, and professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Harari, in his latest book, Nexus, states:

History shows, again and again, that having access to more information doesn’t necessarily lead
to a better understanding of the world or wiser decision-making.

This then is our individual and corporate challenge:  to make wise decisions based on the truth; to sometimes use the tools at our disposal to get information quickly; and to then go slower to discern and apply this information.

Truth in a soulful moment

I recently spoke to the communications manager at Mergon, Cecile Weyers, about the impact of misinformation and disinformation. She mentioned how they were spending less time on content preparation and more time on reputation strategy, stakeholder trust, and making the calls that no algorithm should make.  Her summary resonates so much with my own thinking on soulful discernment when she says:

The irreplaceable value will be human judgement, ethical discernment, and the ability to
discern the times.

The way we slowly create meaning is such an important part of human judgement. And although our faith and spirituality might not verify truth empirically, most of us have deep inner experiences that we just know are true and wise, don’t we?  That moment when you feel in your soul that a conversation is real, a friendship is meaningful, a picture is beautiful, a silence is speaking to you, or a piece of music is moving you.  In a world that explodes with information overload and many instant fake messages, we must fight to keep our ability to, in a moment, deeply sense the truth, meaning, and beauty of a situation. We must not lose that!

In my research on spiritual intelligence, I’ve learnt that intelligent spirituality is the ability to discern the truth in times where information is often instant and fake. However, we not only need time for that, we need a slower pace to go deeper; to think and feel, and to do it again and again so that we can get as close as possible to true soulful experiences.

Soulfulness is the ability to discern, reflect and find truth in the moment. Soulfulness asks for a deeper journey with God and yourself in this world.  One of the biggest challenges I discovered in my daily interactions with people and organisations is the ability to apply knowledge with wisdom and ethics; the ability to discern the times. To soulfully engage with the truth about who God is, about who you are and about where you are.   These are the most important questions when we search for truth and wisdom.

The irreplaceable value will be human judgement, ethical discernment, and the ability to
discern the times.

Truth Café …

In September 2016, I had breakfast with Brian Draper (author, speaker and spiritual guide) in, of all places, the Truth Café in Cape Town. We were busy co-hosting a conference called “Shift Happens”, meeting people and organisations to explore the integration of spirituality into the workplace and different life areas.  Soon, Brian started asking me questions about my calling, what I sensed was happening around the topic of Soulfulness, and where it was moving me, and in that instant, I experienced clarity and truth in my own journey.  I remember it vividly. I can’t explain it, but I know it was a true and pivotal moment in my journey. A moment of truth in Truth Café!

Go and find those moments with God. They are there whenever we slow down, when we think for ourselves, and when we engage with what we feel.

I am reminding myself about a few simple things:

• There is irreplaceable value in human judgement, ethical discernment and the ability to discern the times.
• I want to make sure that I still sense beauty and meaning and cultivate the experience of truth.
• My faith helps me to be soulful and seek truth, but I need to go slower.
• I must remember that there is a difference between information and wisdom.
• I must trust my judgement as it is based on wisdom and slow inner reflection.

REFLECT

When last did you experience a soulful moment of truth, where feeling, sensing, and discerning came together? Do you make time for this? What are the risks if you search for instant information all the time? Search and find those slower moments of truth with God.

RESPOND

Take a few minutes to sense something true for you (in that moment). A relationship, your love for your partner, your gratitude for something small, your experience of God …

Try this:

Set aside one morning a week during which you don’t ask ChatGpt, Claude, or Google for a quick answer. Instead, explore your wisdom, experience, and knowledge to find the answer.

BeWise!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Last week I took a leadership team for a walk at the labyrinth on Rustenberg farm, close to Stellenbosch.

I was again struck by the power of walking together, walking slower, walking just for the sake of walking, and how, if we reflect while walking, we find deep connection. As one of the participants mentioned, “I became so aware of my feelings, I can’t believe it”. At the start of the exercise, I noticed that the team members walked at quite a pace, but, as they went along, they slowed down.  In an age where most of us multitask – where we simultaneously focus on more than one thing or path to “get somewhere” – it is quite unique to be given the opportunity to only focus on the next step as you follow a laid-out path.  Another participant mentioned that he usually struggled to concentrate and that he was surprised by his ability to stay focused on such a simple path.  

I agree with Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese monk and peace activist, who said:

The real miracle is not to fly or walk on fire.  The real miracle is to walk on the Earth, and you can
perform that miracle at any time. The miracle is to be present.  Walk through life and remember
that it is all a miracle!        

It is already a small miracle to be able to take a simple soulful walk. So, be aware of your steps, you might discover holy ground.

Take a soulful walk

Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor in medicine and creator of the Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme, refers to walking as “stillness in motion”. Kabat-Zinn describes it as a walking meditation where you don’t walk to get somewhere – you walk to focus only on “this step” and “this breath”. The challenge, he says, is to take each step as it comes and be fully present in it. It is beautiful how he compares “watching your step” (pun intended) to an “inner watching”.

I truly believe in the interplay between action and contemplation. It is true that some people battle to access their contemplative mind by only sitting, however, when they move slowly and deliberately the action often ignites their contemplative consciousness. Think about how you reflect while you ride your mountain bike – this is a form of active contemplation. In a recent session with a couple, when talking about their ability to have deeper conversations, one of the partners said that it was easier to have a deep conversation while they were walking, whereas they would sometimes find it difficult (and awkward) to just sit and do the same – another example of active contemplation.

“Ultimately, walking is stillness in motion … you are here in your body.
Simply remind yourself to be in this moment, taking each step as it comes.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Keep walking

No, this is not a Johnnie Walker ad! But it is also a small idea that may grow into something huge.  

The Camino de Santiago is a network of pilgrimage routes in Spain that leads to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela; it is also called ‘The way of St James’. Hikers and pilgrims from all over the world go to walk all or parts of these routes, which, in the Spanish part, can take anything between 6 to 8 weeks. In 2016 my wife walked about 240 km of this pilgrimage with her brother for 2 weeks. Upon her return, when I asked her what her main experience of walking a part of the Camino was, she said: “simplicity” and “time”. In life, to find simplicity and time, we must deliberately slow down. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said, because if you miss the “here” you are likely to also miss the “there”.

The Greek physician and philosopher, Hippocrates, was convinced that walking is man’s best medicine.  So, as you move deeper into this year, don’t forget to walk; and don’t forget to explore your inner path.  

I am realising a few simple things:

• We don’t always have to walk to get somewhere.
• Walking slowly and deliberately can be very meaningful and healthy.
• It is a small miracle to walk and be present.
• If I miss the “here” I might also miss the “there”.

REFLECT

When last did you walk, not to get somewhere, just to focus on each step with purpose? When you
walk, what do you experience? Are you anxious because you might be late? Do you experience
pain? Is it inconvenient? When you walk try to be consciously aware, even for a few moments, of
your inner walk. Deliberately try to practise action and contemplation.

RESPOND

Take 5 minutes and go for a slow deliberate walk. Be aware of each step, of each breath. Be open to
whatever you experience in that moment. Be open to your reflections. You could also try this when
doing other activities, like when you go fishing, or riding your mountain bike.

Try this:

Take a short walk now … without your phone …

Keep walking!

Let me know of your creative stories or soulful ideas at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Look out for our Soulful Leadership process and Leaders Retreats.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Soulfulness is about being patient and wait for that moment of meaningful awareness, that moment where God’s presence is experienced in any simple way.

Expansion
I recently read an advent reflection of the Centre for Action and Contemplation and I found a metaphor that is applicable to everyone. Author Stephanie Duncan Smith writes of Mary’s yes to God as a choice for expansion over contraction, mirroring God’s own yes in creation. Our challenge is to challenge ourselves during this time to choose growth, to stretch ourselves and to keep creating.

She writes:

“Advent is nothing if not the story of beginnings, revealing a God who dares to expand, who chooses enlargement over happiness, no matter the chaos. This season shows us the astonishing view of a God gone radial, one who will never stop reaching toward his beloved, no matter the risks. And so, in the true spirit of Advent, we find our courage to chance.“

Soulfulness is about the courage to find growth and expansion in every moment. When we choose the growing edge, we often find out true self!

• Is there an area where you can stretch yourself this season?
• How and where can 2026 be a new beginning for you?
• Maybe God is reminding you of expansion over contraction?

May this advent be a time of wait and wonder and hope.
Merry Christmas!

Please share your creative stories or soulful ideas with me at andre@besoulful.co.za.

If you want to schedule a retreat day for a small group, let me know!

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.