Soul Nudges # 25 Disconnect to connect

These days we have to disconnect before we can connect. We are connected to everything and everyone constantly, but not ourselves or even God…

During the past few weeks I spent 4 days on a farm in Namibia with no cell phone or internet connection. No phone, no internet, no emails, no WhatsApp. I couldn’t reach out for my phone quickly to scroll the latest news feed, couldn’t post anything on any platform. I was totally disconnected. All I could do was to witness the sunset and sunrise, look up at the stars at night, sit at the fire and share experiences with the people around me…in person…not on zoom! What a relief, to not anxiously await a message, or an alert of something I need to do, or attend to. Just to be there…and open to what is emerging from the moment.

I had to disconnect to be able to connect to myself and to God. My kids had to look for stuff to do in nature, learn to just sit and chat, pick up wood for the fire or play board games.

And we connected.

One night in Namibia I walked away from the house to just watch the stars – my 10 year old boy walked with me and we witnessed a sky full of stars, an unbelievable sight. “Daddy why are there so many stars tonight?”, he suddenly asked me. I told him that the stars are always there we just don’t see it because of all the (artificial) light. Because sometimes we need the darkness to witness the light, don’t we? We disconnected from the artificial light that night to connect to the stars and the light.

Sometimes we have to disconnect before we can connect. Years ago Nokia made an advert with the same title – you are welcome to watch this short video as it is a powerful depiction of this notion.

Last week I spoke to a business leader while on his 3-month sabbatical. We started planning his sabbatical last year, focusing specifically on how to be deliberate in disconnecting from his office. We talked about the value of sometimes looking at your business from a distance, to look from the outside and taking an intentional step to plug out before you plug in again.

At the end of our conversation he said:

“While disconnecting I get a renewed perspective and then I become small…and my problems even smaller – I remind myself just to breathe.”

We find ourselves in the middle of this year and it might be healthy to think of where you need to disconnect to be able to connect to God, yourself and others again.

Make one small decision about this – take one small step.

To deliberately disconnect for short periods – you don’t have to be out on a farm, or be disconnected for days to experience this – just take a short walk and leave your phone at home or at the office, and see what emerges for you.

Go and deliberately disconnect, so you can soulfully connect again.

Go well.

Soul Nudges # 24 Soul Rhythms

Shift Happens Stellenbosch South Africa.

Towards the end of last year my own experience was that life is very reactive. It felt like I was just firefighting and all my pro-active energy was gone. I even postponed to write these reflections – yes I apologise, the last reflection that I’ve shared was in April 2021!

A lot of people that I dealt with then really needed time to disconnect and disengage from the “busyness as usual” and just recharge. Funny story – I bumped into somebody on December 9th 2021 and asked him :”How are you” – his reply: “Man, it feels like it is the 38th of December!?”. This summarizes the way a lot of people felt towards the end of 2021.

So how did this year start for you? Many people really go for everything now that we experience more “normality” – we are trying so hard to catch up on what we have missed the last two years that we forget the slowness of the pandemic. And this is great, seize the day, use the time that you have and make the most of it.


…it will be really important to remember your basic rhythms. What helps you to stay anchored, focused, energised and centered?

Think about this for a moment about one basic rhythm that helps you to anchor, to catch your breath – it can be as simple as taking a 5 minute walk or just to stand somewhere and focus on something beautiful for 2 minutes.

What would that look like for you?

Choose one simple soulful rhythm for this year…one simple action that will keep you anchored. Keep it really simple!

Then make notes or an appointment with yourself to start with this as a new rhythm. Tell somebody about it, it will make you more accountable.

Let us also remember what is going on in the Ukraine at the moment and use our rhythms to also pray for peace. It is a real privilege to even have the freedom to think about new rhythms.

You are welcome to also listen to this podcast discussion on rhythms on my channel – follow this link and let me know if you have an interesting story on rhythms.

Go well


Soul Nudges #23 Enough

“…nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little” – Epicurus

I often have the conversation with my children about the most important question in life.

“what is enough?”

If we could live with the wisdom to determine what is enough, and if the world were organised by the principle that everyone should have enough, it could be a totally different reality, couldn’t it?

Enough light, enough oxygen, enough beauty, enough energy, enough meaning.

But then we worry that when everybody has enough that we will stop trying.

Ryan Holiday, in his book “stillness is the key” states:

‘you will never feel okay by way of external accomplishments. Enough comes from the inside. It comes from stepping off the train. From seeing what you already have, what you’ve always had.’

The worry is that the experience of enough will make us complacent to not challenge ourselves or grow or even suffer – but it often is the opposite. You can be healthy, content and still be successful. Just see what you already have – and obviously there is the real experience of not having enough – we do need to acknowledge that!

Maybe ask your team to name one experience of enough today or maybe tell them where in the business there is enough and celebrate that.

We definitely have ample reminders every day where there isn’t enough, right?

Therefore take a moment today and reflect on the following questions:

  • Where do you experience enough in your relationship?
  • Where do you experience enough in your surroundings today?
  • How can you live with an attitude to find the enough of everyday?

So how can you respond to this?

Make one decision today – what would one step look like to influence the experience of “enough” around you? One small practical step…

Enough will give us more clarity, insight, truth and presence.

May you have enough today!

Soul Nudges #22 The length of time

The Cambridge English dictionary defines “time” as:

the part of existence that is measured in minutes, days, years, etc., or this process considered as a whole…


Time represents so much more than this doesn’t it?


The way this year started, and everything that happened last year, gives us an unique perspective and sense of time. Where we normally start the year with planners, goals, energy, motivation etc this year started like – “okay let’s see what happens”. I spoke to a CEO/business owner in property development last week who told me he gathers his team annually in the beginning of the year to revisit the end of year strategic plan. The previous night he searched for the strategic notes on his computer, but could not find it anywhere – the last saved strategic notes was October 2019’s plan. With a shock he realised that he/they forgot to do the strategic session in 2020. This story represents the way the year started for many individuals and organisations, as well as families.


I think we have an unique opportunity to balance between short-termism and long term optimism and I’m sensing that we need to do what we can do today and not wait for tomorrow, with an attitude of patience and resilience.


I hear people say the following:

“let’s see what happens”

“no use to plan long term we do not know anyway”

“the normal rhythm is gone”

“this time reminds us of life and priorities”

“we are taking so many things for granted”

“we cannot hide we need to keep going”

“what is God’s plan with this?”


Recently someone also mentioned that one thing we got wrong the past year is the “length of time” concept. Initially, we worked on a 6 months timeframe, which quickly became 18 months and possibly longer…..this phrase “the length of time” stayed with me.


With relatives passing away, people being confronted with mortality, uncertainty and existential challenges we also get an opportunity to re-evaluate life and work. Why do I do what I do, what do I spend my time on and why, what matters most?


On the contrary, we also get a sense of opportunity within all of this. Prof Johann Coetzee, Industrial Psychologist, consultant & lecturer (NWU & University of the Free State) with more than 44 years experience in people development, wrote a book with the title: It’s about time and says:

“take your time, because it is about time, to get serious about the gift of time and do so very quickly”


In the Greek translations of the Bible there are at least 2 words used to refer to time – Chronos & Kairos. Chronos refers to the chronological timeline on your watch/clock or the calendar, where Kairos refers to a moment. Meaningful life is about the balance between chronos-time and kairos-time. And how we will need Kairos moments this year, as the calendar (chronos) became so relative?


So take a few moments (Kairos) to reflect on the following questions:

  • What was your experience of time the past 12 months?
  • How do you prioritize the time that you do have, what do you want to spend it on?
  • How can you make time count moment to moment rather then being bogged down by your chronological clock or calendar?


Whatever your circumstances this year – make time count! Let’s get serious about the gift of time and do so quickly.

Do remember to take time in and find the soulful moments along the way! You are welcome to watch my waterdrop story again or share.

May you and your people find resilience, faith, patience and good health for your journey this year.


Soul Nudges #21 Doubt

It has been a year of diverse experiences globally, but one experience that most of us agree on is that this was indeed a year of global doubt. Uncertainty is something that most of us experienced wherever we were – whether it has been doubts about health, work, family, international affairs, economy or planning it was and still is a massive reality. The global pandemic created an uncertain open-endedness or has left us with little ability to plan for 2021. The plans that we made a year ago turned out totally different, didn’t it?

American Jungian psychoanalyst, author and public speaker James Hollis has a different view on doubt:

Doubt is a profound and effective spiritual motivation. Without doubt, no truism is transcended, no new knowledge found, no expansion of the imagination is possible. Doubt is unsettling to the ego and those who are drawn to ideologies that promise the dispelling of doubt by preferring certainties never grow.

Yes, when we experience doubt, we often discover truth and faith in something or someone bigger than us. Through doubt, new knowledge emerges and we are forced to be creative – the best entrepreneurial moments often derive from doubt and uncertainty. Doubt often tears us away from the certainty that the ego makes us believe. In my conversations this year I’ve heard stories on how 2020 created self-doubt for individuals, couples that suddenly had too much time and doubted their relationship, children doubting whether they will pass their schoolyear and faith communities doubting God and plans and calling. Uncertainty everywhere!

It is my prayer that we will be able to use this doubt in a constructive way – to be open to what emerges for us from all the uncertainties – be open to growing in wisdom, because nothing is certain anyway, is it? If nothing else the experience of doubt is an opportunity to reflect on what matters most to you, it is an opportunity to re-connect with your own vulnerability, dependence, as well as the soulful self that is balancing with ego – we have become too independent and self-sufficient in many ways, haven’t we?

Doubt and uncertainty are realities, but there is also the reality of this current moment that you have NOW…

Take a few deep breaths and just rest in the certainty of this moment! Through your doubt, there will be growth and creativity. In the Christian calendar, it is the time of advent, a time to again patiently await and expect the good news of Christmas.

May you find hope within your uncertainty. And may you have time with loved ones and be motivated by faith and hope and love.

Go well

Soul Nudges #20 Lockdown Ego

A good day for the ego is a bad day for the soul.

– Robin Sharma –


What was your work experience like the past few months?


Some people tell me that they felt guilty for not going to work while receiving a salary, others experienced a lot of pressure due to a salary cut while not at work, and a lot of people stopped receiving any income. Some lucky ones worked from home. Whatever the circumstances, work-life looked and felt so different and we couldn’t even prepare for it. Initially, the conversations were about the space at home, saving time and money on travel, more time with the family and the amazing opportunities of online work. But a few months later people started complaining about not having boundaries, having to be online all the time, missing their colleagues, being home but not really being present and struggling with basic habits.

One of the most fascinating discoveries I’ve made was around people’s ego-spaces. James Hollis calls it the social self. They either felt free from people-distractions to focus on work or experienced a real loss in terms of the work role, status and place in the world and some felt less anxious for being able to work from a truer self.

Because with lockdown came the loss of ego space – you couldn’t walk into the office anymore thinking about what you looked like or share any personal space while presenting your slides or feel important because you have the corner office – on the online platforms you can just be yourself and then focus to get the job done. Some were freed from it and some really missed it.

It made me wonder about the following question: “Who are you when you do not go to the office – who are you if you only have your home and online space?”

Maybe this is an opportunity to be more soulful? Of course, there are a lot of downsides as well – we need to be our social selves as well to feel a connection, read facial expressions and body language.

I am still reflecting on this, but would love to hear from you about your experience on how the loss of ego-space made you more soulful to be yourself, to have more time, to just focus on the simple task on your desk (or bed)? This without wasting your energy to manage other expectations while the ego compares and compete – or maybe you’ve experienced a great loss because of all of this? Or maybe you can arrange a discussion in your team or family about these experiences?

Join me for 2 opportunities at the end of this year to just stand back for a day – reflect on this crazy year in terms of business or life, be quiet, re-align or just be.

I am doing a day retreat within the framework of contemplative spirituality for individuals at the beautiful Stillebos Retreat Farm. I am also inviting executive leaders to the annual Christmas in November Leaders retreat at San Gabriel historical farm.

Book now! Or contact me for more info.

Go well


10 min Retreat podcast

Guided Reflection by André Kilian

& Music by Olafar Arnalds.





Soul Nudges #19 Wilderness found us

It is a time of global wilderness, isn’t it? In South Africa, we have been in hard lockdown for almost 40 days, significantly the same time that Jesus spent in the desert. It is as if wilderness has found us globally – we were forced into a liminal space – liminal means threshold or waiting room in Latin. Often during liminal times or times of crisis, we reflect on what matters most to us. I am struck by how this time emphasises the great inequality in South Africa. While some families share photos of how they retreated to their holiday homes for 6 weeks, others queue for days to get a small meal. While some exercise in their gardens others are forced to sit in their one chair in a 3×3 shack.

But whatever our context most of us can identify with a time of wilderness, thinking about our needs and wants and what is really important and worthwhile – and I am so encouraged to see how humanity shows itself – people that are really concerned about each other’s wellbeing. It is a time to really take responsibility and be ethical – this is indeed the great wilderness test –  a test of ethical choices all round.
If nothing else we have more time! May it be a time of wisdom and discernment, where we use the TIME that we so crave when we rush and run through life. And when you get back to “life as you know it” be very aware of what is different and how you want to do things differently. Life as we knew it will never be the same, that is for sure!

Take 5 minutes and try this:

Take few deep breaths…

What is your wilderness experience during this time?

Reflect on one thing that you learned during this time about what is really important to you.

How will you respond to this? Make sure to share this learning with one person or post it somewhere.

As part of the diverse global experiences and how we learn from each other during this time I’m starting a few interviews with people in different contexts that I want to share.

I interviewed Brian Draper in the UK on Zoom to start the Soulful Conversations and more will follow. Watch the interview with Brian here:

May wilderness, although uncomfortable, be a time of wisdom globally!


Soul Nudges #18 Unity

“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.”   –   Kitty O’ Meara

At the beginning of 2020, I experienced the world as was more divided than ever.  Countries at war, Trump, Brexit, people struggling to work together, you name it – isn’t it ironic that now a few months later the world is busy uniting as one to fight Covid-19.  We have no choice – suddenly we agree on one thing and the only way to get through this is to stand together and work together.  It levels the playing field.  Suddenly background, wealth, ethnicity, culture, ideology doesn’t make any difference, no exceptions – we are all in this together whether we want it or not.

This is an opportunity for unity – let’s unite with Kitty O’Meara and pray for healing on all levels – and find new ways of being. I am already witnessing immense care and the goodness of people at work and play. This is a testing time globally it challenges us towards thinking and being aware of each other in different ways.  Suddenly space and touch mean different things than a few weeks ago.  Somebody shared with me yesterday how paradigms can quickly shift and gave the following example:  “be a good neighbour – stay at home!”

Maybe it is a time to turn in, read books, listen, pray, meditate and rest. In the Christian tradition, it is also the season of Lent where we are aware of time in the wilderness – and isn’t this a wilderness experience in some sort of way for most of us?

May you be safe wherever you are!